And since I can’t say anything nice…

I could, but it’s so very overshadowed by Haditha. Calling the Marines cold-blooded killers tends to sour my opinion of a person.  So I will let the media tell his story.

In spite of my feelings about the man, my condolences are with his family during this time.

I need a favor.  Not a big one.  I’ve been through worse actually. I just want to know what else. Can you tell me what more you plan to throw at me? I know from experience that you will give me the strength to get through it.

After years of silence, I finally spoke about my abuse. I was ostracized from people I love dearly, and You’ve gotten me through so far.

My husband was laid off. There has been a lot of interest, but only a few orders with TheHolsterSite. I have faith that you will work this out for us. You’ve done it before in far more dire situations. Whatever comes next, I know it will be what You want.

My dad fell. It was sudden. We’ve had multiple ups and downs with his recovery. He was in ICU, he got out. Only to be sent back. Then out again and then into rehab. Is home next? It’s supposed to be.

I really believe that you won’t throw more at me than what I can handle even if it stretches me. I know it, but sometimes it’s hard. Am I done for now? Or is there another blow waiting for me? If you’ve got one, I’m ready. I think. I just want to know. Or, maybe not. You’ve let me be pushed beyond what I thought possible. I’m still here. And I am stronger. Is it worth it? I don’t know. I don’t know what you have planned for me. I have faith that you have a greater plan. I’m willing, ready or not. In your ways which are so much greater than my ways, I trust that it is worth it. I do.

I’m hurt. You know that. You also know how much I can be hurt. Here I am Lord, send me. I am nothing without you. I am not to the point of desperation. But I am hurting. I’m scared. But here I am. Only you know how exactly imperfect I am.

Send me. Just tell me what’s in store. What should I expect? Am I on the right track? It feels right. Isaac is spending a lot more time with his dad. That alone is great. The bills are still being paid. Dad seems to be on the mend.

Are we moving forward? Is that all I’ve got for now. Or is there another surprise? I know you will prepare me either way. Thank you.

Yeah, I kind of forgot about it too.  I kept working out (mostly).  I just didn’t measure or weigh in.  Guess I just got tired of seeing the same numbers every week.  I bore easily.

And then I stepped on the scale yesterday morning.

122

Whoa!  When did that happen? That’s only 2 pounds away from my original goal.  Huh? Suppose I should take measurements and see what happened there too.

I mean, that’s pretty cool and all, but I really wish I had kept up with tracking it.  Oh well.

And according to some internet BMI calculator, I’m healthy at 21.0.

So, for reference on many of those pictures on TheHolsterSite, most of them are me.  I’m 5′4″, 122lbs and I can hide a 5″ 1911.

So Dear Reader floated the idea of repealing ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ in his state of the union address. And it seems some action is even happening in that direction.  He’s doing this for two reasons.

1. He is throwing a bone to gay rights activists that have gotten angry with him for not moving on this sooner.  He’s looking for the easy points.  And with his approval rating sinking faster than the Dow Jones, he needs all that he can get.  The gay vote has been traditionally a safe Democratic voting block, and I find it very interesting that he’s chosen this moment to secure it.  Honestly, there is no real resistance to this move and he could have done it without so much fanfare.  Which brings us to…

2.  He is making a calculated move to divide Republicans.  With the tea party movement, the GOP has begun to see that we want them to be the party of small government, low taxes, and strong national defense.  That’s all.  And so Dear Reader’s handlers cleverly inserted a bit in his ‘oh poor me, saddled with Bush’s Fault’ speech that is sure to give the Huckabee segment the vapors.  Here we’ve worked so hard to clarify the image of keeping the government out of our business so he picks the one issue that a certain segment of Republicans do want to get their meddling fingers into, bedrooms.

Hey social cons, do the right thing.  Sit down and shut up over this one.  I don’t plan on seeking approval from you over what am and am not doing in my bedroom and neither should anyone else.  What are you so afraid of anyway?  Teh gay isn’t contagious.  And who are you to tell some patriotic man or woman that they can fight and risk dying for our country, but it damn sure better be an opposite sex loved one that wraps their arms around them when they come home safely?  Or worse yet, if they don’t?  Who are you to tell their partner that you won’t give them the honor of receiving that carefully folded flag because they had to keep their life secret?  You’d rather expel highly talented soldiers than see a scantily clad man adorning the locker of another man.  Grow up.  Maybe, just maybe, if you’d get your Puritanical views out of the way of actual governmental responsibility, we could convince more people that Republicans aren’t hypocritical evil ogres.

Look around.  This isn’t about gays in the military anyway.  They are already serving.  I’m betting most of their fellow soldiers know their big dark secret.  We train these men and women to trust each other with their lives.  I’m betting they trust each other with their orientation as well.  This is a calculated attempt to cause a division within Conservatives.  They are betting that a certain faction will spend every dime of their political capitol fighting an uphill battle that will only serve reinforce the image of the hateful Republican.  They are hoping to use this to frame every argument coming from the right in the same light.  Instead of not wanting the health care albatross because we can’t afford it, it will be because we hate people without insurance.  Just like the gays.

Don’t give them the ammo.  They are setting up a minefield of distractions.  Don’t lose focus.  Whatever your morality, it is not the government’s place to impose it. They’ve worn out the accusation of racism to the point it is meaningless.  Now they are trying to raise the flag of homophobia in it’s place.  Next thing you know, everyone will point to their one gay friend to prove their tolerance credentials.  Personally, I don’t pick my friends based on any kind of affirmative action quota.  Also, I don’t ask that they hide who they are in order to be worthy of my company.  I don’t need to prove that I’m inclusive by taking inventory.  I would not cheapen my relationships to the point where anyone might think they were just my token _______ (fill in the minority/orientation/political affiliation/religion du jour) friend*.

*I have made reference to my recovering liberal friend.  It’s a little joke between us.  We were friends long before we had picked political sides.

Edited to add: Labrat won the internets on this issue

And again: Robb Allen’s 2-cents

The CAT scan was good! They are moving Dad to a regular room today and the doctor thinks he will be going home before the end of the week!

So, I set up a Facebook. Send me a message if you want to be a friend. There are names I may or may not recognize.
Jennifer Lynn Hast

Create Your Badge
I hope I did that right.

It’s kind of weird really.  When I post here, it updates my Twitter feed which updates my Facebook status where lots of people that I know in real life are my Facebook friends. Like the senior and associate ministers at my church and my mother. Weird. It’s okay, just weird. I really am the same person in real life that I am on here. Well, I have less tact here.

Anyway. So my world got smaller and I’ve enabled potential stalkers that much further. Everybody wins! It’s actually kind of fun.

So, you’re probably really here to hear (read) an update on Dad. He is doing much better. We showed him the latest holster. It’s not up on TheHolsterSite.com just yet, but it will be shortly. He was impressed.

He will have another CAT scan in the morning to make sure the repairs are holding and the bleeding has stopped. The neurologist will re-evaluate him at that time. Because he is doing so well, I would not be surprised if they had him in a regular hospital room and out of ICU by tomorrow evening. Still not holding my breath.

He is actually eating solid food again, although not very much of it. I’m sure it will take some time before he really gets his appetite back. They’ve discovered that he is diabetic. This was kind of a shock as he gets tested every year since his mother was also. I kind of wonder if it is some kind of odd side-effect of the head injury. Who knows, it may not even be a permanent change. They will deal with that once he is home though. Probably wouldn’t hurt to cut some sugar out of the diet regardless.

Over all, it is looking really promising. You all have no idea how wonderful it is to hear that you are keeping my family in your thoughts and prayers. We all really appreciate it and can almost feel the love. Thank you again.

Just testing, you can ignore this

Well I went to visit my dad in the ICU today.  He was tired and weak but otherwise okay.  He was very lucid and knew exactly where he was and what was going on.

I thought he was asleep when I walked in so I crept around to check out the bandage on the back of his head.  He spotted me.  “Hello daughter.”  Typical greeting.  I came back around and took his hand.  He squeezed it.  I told him that the ice was dangerous, and he should be careful.  He smirked and laughed.  He asked Michael about his job interview.  Lots of specific questions about the position and the company. I told him that was a hell of a way to change his hairstyle.  More laughs.

We asked him if he remembered his fall.  He said mostly.  He’d fallen and then come in to finish cooking dinner and clean himself up since the fall gave him a bloody nose.  He began acting strangely and my mom told him that they needed to take him to a doctor.  He agreed, also out of character.  She asked the neighbor to help her get him to the car, but they were unable to do it.  The neighbor said that they needed to call an ambulance.  Shortly after arriving at the hospital, the right side of Dad’s face was drooping and one eye wasn’t tracking with the other.  Initially they just relieved the pressure from the bleeding.  Once the neurologist got a look at him, he said he needed to get him into surgery.

He was in surgery from 1am to 4 am.  He had actually broken loose a triangular section of bone that was digging into the meninges.  This was the cause of all the internal bleed that was causing intra-cranial pressure.  They were able to get the piece back in place and stitched him up.  When I saw him today, his face was a bit swollen and his right eye looks like he’s been in a bar fight.  But his expressions are symmetrical an his eyes track together.  The bandage was clean.  There was some blood on his sheets and pillow which I learned were from another bloody nose.  He’s feeling weak and sore.  He doesn’t have any appetite to speak of.  All of that will come back.  He was very dizzy and experiencing some nausea so they have him on an all liquid diet.  Not sure I’d have much of an appetite for a hospital liquid diet.

The nurse said that he was doing exceptionally well.  He checked his eyes, made him squeeze his hands, and wiggle his toes.  That all checked out just fine.  With as well as he seemed to be doing, I wouldn’t be surprised if they sent him to a regular hospital room as opposed to the ICU in the next couple of days.

We are all feeling a lot less frightened.  We are very grateful for the doctors.  Had it not been for their quick and comprehensive care, we could have lost him.  I just glad we didn’t have to wait for some bureaucrat to decide whether or not to provide treatment.  He is at a local Catholic hospital.  There are regular prayers broadcast over the intercom.  Thank you everyone for your continued prayers and thoughts in our direction.  We aren’t out of the woods, but we are seeing the edge.