Haiku Friday: Saturday

A haiku delayed

Procrastination happened

Saturday poem

Consolation prize! Everyone’s a winner!

Sorry. The disorganized voices in my head refuse to stand in line and give me anything that I could possibly whip into a story even though some of you (you know who you are) keep pestering me to get my butt in gear and actually write. Sometimes the dialog is awkward and entertaining though. At least in my head, but I know you want to know what goes on in my head or else you wouldn’t be here.

<insert petty argument here>

Character 1: I love you, non-romantically, but I mean it, I love you.

Character 2: Oh yeah? Well I love you too. Potentially romantically if circumstances were drastically different.

Character 1: Um…

Character 2: Crap. That was out loud wasn’t it? Like, the whole thing.

Character 1: Nope, didn’t hear a thing.

Character 2: So… anyway, would you hand me the chisel?

Haiku Friday: November 30th

End of November

Tornadoes in the forecast

Ah Oklahoma

Never a dull moment! Oklahoma, where the only thing constant is change.

CyberMonday Sale!

Oh right, I’m not selling anything here…

Um. Well this is awkward.

I’ve got it! All posts are half off! Free shipping if you act now.

No?

Dang.

This capitalism thing is hard. It’s like I need to provide something in exchange for money. Hmm.

Do you want me to tell you a story? Does it have to be true?

There was that time that a penguin stole my cousin’s Snickers while he was time traveling. He never did finish that story. Guess I’ll have to ask him about it last week. Penguins are notorious candy thieves, you know.

You didn’t? I bet you thought they just ate fish, didn’t you?

Generally speaking, you would be correct. There hasn’t been a lot of study into the reasons why, but their blood sugar levels tend to drop near temporal anomalies. It upsets some delicate balance or some such nonsense.

Just don’t give them this sort of candy.

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"candy"

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That can upset all sorts things and cause the penguins to start gallivanting off to parts unknown.

Personally, I refer to avoid the regions where penguins tend to gather. I’m not hearty enough for the cold, you see. But should you happen upon a gallivanting penguin, pack him carefully for the return voyage.

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Always pack your cat with plenty of padding

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Had to substitute a cat as I had no penguins handy. You have to work with what you’ve got.

Yes, there is a tip jar. There are also far more worthy causes than funding my occasional ramblings. Help Camp Fire Mama. She needs it more than I do.

Disclaimer: Jennifer seems to have acquired some sort of upper respiratory virus. This post brought to you by The Fever. The line for complaints has been quarantined for your protection. All employees must wash hands and all of that. 

Haiku Friday: Black Friday

Black Friday special

Conspicuous consumption

Thankful yesterday

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I smoked a turkey that turned out to be as tasty as it was attractive.

Thanksgiving 2018

I’m calling that a win. Michael made mashed potatoes that were divine. Nothing low fat there.

Thanksgiving 2018

My mother wasn’t feeling well, but we enjoyed the day regardless. My son had to rush off to his retail job to prepare for today’s madness, and I got to love on all the kiddos. I even busted a pickle thief in the act.

 
Thanksgiving 2018

So, now that we have all that gratitude out of the way, we can barrel right on into Christmas. If you’ve braved that madness to catch the best deals today, I really do hope you did well. I hope you found that perfect thing for everyone on your list and little something for yourself as well. I also hope Thanksgiving sticks with you for a bit too, something more than the pounds from overindulgence.

Haiku Friday: Life Moves On

Clutching a flashlight

Hiding in my blanket fort

Missing simpler times

Nothing lasts forever except the things that do. The creators may go, but their art lives on.

This week, we lost Stan Lee, Roy Clark, and William Goldman. Each dream weavers in their own right. My inner child wants to hide away with their creations, but I’m comforted in knowing that the joy they brought me can live on for many generations to come. Great power, and all that.

 

Thank you, Stan Lee

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It's over 20 years late, but thank you, Stan Lee. Bet you never thought that snotty chick from the comic shop in a little town in Oklahoma would be wearing Captain America leggings. Actually, you probably wouldn't be surprised. I shook your hand and told you I didn't read any of those mainstream comics. I liked indie titles. (Yeah, I thought I was edgy.) You told me you just liked heros and seeing the good guys win. Then you smiled and told me you didn't mind that I wasn't a fan. You were just glad I was having fun. I had some sanctimonious junk in my head about the crass commercialism. Blah blah blah. This was around the time Image Comics came about. Angela was my gateway drug. A character who due to a very strange custody battle is part of the Marvel family now. I suppose I'm still following her around. You were gracious and kind. I was a brat. You were right, the world needed heros. Still does. Thank you for bringing us so many and always having so much fun with it. I never got to tell you that I'm sorry for being a brat so many years ago. I don't know when it happened, but you became a hero to me.

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Thank you for making the world more magical and not calling me out for being so full of myself.

Haiku Friday: Choices

Oh Crap It’s Friday

Syllables running amok

Something something post

Oh Hai! Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I haven’t cleaned up the place since… Well maybe since before the last administration. Budget cuts and all. I had to lay off the clerk at the refund counter. She wasn’t especially keen on being paid in exposure anyway. Her severance package includes lifetime free access to all the free ice cream this little blogger can churn out.

I had to make a choice, freeloading refund clerk or shoes. There was really no contest.

JLH_2822

What? I’m all of 5′ 10″ in these babies.

Filler Haiku

Content creation

Something witty goes right here

Haiku Friday done

Are you happy now? See, you got your haiku for the week.

Updates:

I met with an employment agent this week. They are dusting off and shining up my resume for me. Prospects are promising. I will keep you updated. I’ve cooked dinner the last 2 days without injury. Possibly a new record. Moving right along with school this session.