I Became Briefly Invisible Today

I think 2015 will be the year where I develop my super-powers. Obviously, I must have them. All the ass-kicking super-hero women in the TV shows wear heels, I took a defensive shotgun class in 3-inch heels. Ergo, I must be a latent super-hero.

Logic!

And today, I was briefly invisible. You see, in the office, we’ve got those fancy toilets with the sensor that can see you while you’re sitting there and then flushes the toilet when it can’t see you anymore.

It flushed today. While I was still sitting there. Logically, I must have become invisible. See, hypothesis + evidence = science!

Terrorism of Ideas

I am heartbroken over the events in Paris this week and thankful that it appears the terrorists have been dealt with. As usual, the hiding and wringing on hands did nothing to stop the violence. Instead, it took a righteous application of violence to do so. I suspect the afterlife won’t be what they were expecting. Evil exists. It attacks without warning. The only defense against it is a willingness and ability to fight back. Sadly, the victims could not.

The pen may not be mightier than the sword, but I hope this week’s events do not stop anyone from using them. Free expression is important. Important enough to be protected with swords and guns and any other tool at your disposal. Nations have been formed and toppled because people took up arms in defense of ideas.

Their voices may have been silenced, but it is my sincere hope that new ones take their places. Terrorism must not win.

 

Feline Wisdom for 2015

Well since my 2013 resolution was never broken nor fulfilled, my resolution obligation remains in limbo. So I’m just going to let Ferrule take over the blog today. He’s been reading my Facebook news feed and judging you.

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He even took over my keyboard.

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Yes, that was Ferrule. He’s very helpful. He’s got some words of wisdom for 2015.

1. Sit more. Sitting makes laps and laps are for sits. It’s where petting happens.

2. Make peace with the pet hair. I’m just going to make more.

3. Strings! They are great, just had to mention it.

4. Poop happens. Sometimes when you least expect it.

5. The loud thing with headlight that eats cat hair? Just put it away. See number 2

6. When something bothers you, bite its butt, fluff your tail, and strut away.

7. Dude. Catnip. Dude.

8. There will always be more kibble in the bowl, don’t stress about it.

9. Go to the backdoor and sing about your adventures. Preferably while your humans are engrossed in the warm boxes with the screens that they keep on their laps. Besides, laps are for sits and petting, not typing.

10. When life gets scary, hide under the buffet until Mama gets home.

This post has been reviewed by the resident feline editor, Chance

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Yes, he is also judging you.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Is this thing on?

I know, I’ve been scarce lately. I promise, I haven’t forgotten you nor do I have any intention of leaving you. Life has just been very demanding of my time. If you can find a way to bottle sleep so I can just grab it on the go, that would help.

Updates:

Due to some reorganization, I had to give up my big swanky office and move back into a cube farm. I miss the space and the door, but it’s a positive thing overall. Got a brand new boss and cut my commute in half. Not to mention I’m in the same building with all the people I really need to deal with on a day to day basis.

The family is good and we had lovely Christmas celebrations all around. We took some time off and played video games for most of the week. Yes, it was very productive. And of course, there was food. We made amazing meatballs and as much as I’d like to share the recipe with you, we made it up on the fly. Beef, sausage, sweet potatoes, mustard powder, eggs rolled into 1 ounce balls (used the kitchen scale) and then chilled so they could then be lightly fried in bacon grease. Just enough to cook the outside, then placed in a crock-pot with garlic and marinara sauce. I’m sure I’ve left something out, but they were delicious.

I hope you had a lovely holiday and that you will have a very happy new year!

A Video Christmas Card

So we got together with some of our gamer friends and did a thing. You should watch. It’s silly.

The young man singing ‘2 Mashing Parents’? That’s TeenBot. And I’m sure you recognize the Evyl Robot and your high-voiced host.

Enjoy! And have a Merry Christmas. Yes, this is what I got you this year. No, you can’t take it back.

 

Amazon, It’s Getting Weird

First, you asked if my toilet paper met my expectations.

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Just how exactly am I supposed to answer that? Why yes, Amazon, now my bottom is delightfully poo free. Thanks for asking. 

Or maybe something like. I knew from the moment I opened the box that my days of drip drying were over.

I subscribe to this paper. Never missed an issue. Really, I just get it for the articles.

Oh well. I suppose since you sent me toilet paper, you’ve got to ask about it.

But that still doesn’t explain why you’ve now decided to redecorate my bathroom. You’ve got a rather…erm…interesting idea.

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I’ve considered various themes for a bathroom. None of them included a Stripper Sloth Shower Curtain, but MAYBE THEY SHOULD. (Go ahead, click the link. You know you want one. Besides, it’s an affiliate link. Even if you don’t get the Stripper Sloth Shower Curtain, you’ll be helping keep quality content like this online.)

And what accessories does one need to complement a Stripper Sloth? I thought maybe the other customers that purchased this might have some ideas.

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Well I don’t know about bathroom accessories, but if I drank a case of Surge, I’d be spending a lot of time contemplating my Stripper Sloth Shower curtain and being quite satisfied with my Cottonelle Clean Care Double Roll. And now the circle is complete.

Eye Catching Title Referencing Something Controversial

Introduction of my ideas regarding controversial issue. More words.

Maybe a gif

Thought out prose regarding how I came to this opinion. Some links.

Kitty.

Thought provoking conclusion.

Please provide your own inflammatory commentary below

A note about how I’ve edited a typo and corrected my link.

Further note attempting to clarify my position.