I mentioned it yesterday.  Today you get to see it.  Hubby made them last night.

Each Martini consists of one shot of espresso shaken with Svedka and garnished with…

Bacon!!

Everything is better with bacon.

Read the rest…

Pardon the maniacal laughter.

I’ve never liked Starbucks, and so hearing about their financial woes doesn’t exactly elicit sympathy from me.  I’ve never really understood how someone could pay over 4 dollars for a cup of steamed cream with a shot of over roasted espresso staining the bottom.  I suppose it is all for the image of the coffee elite.  Funny thing though, I’ve never met anyone that really appreciates good coffee that actually likes Starbucks.  I only see the wanna-be connoisseurs sipping out of those Styrofoam symbols of conformity.  Blech!

According to their website, they use all the finest imported coffee beans.  That would be great, if they didn’t roast them until they turned into something that smells far more like roof tar than that wonderful caffeinated elixir of morning coherence.  They add all the frou-frou junk to it so that you don’t actually taste the coffee.  I’m not kidding.  Walk into one of their ubiquitous outlets and order a straight espresso.  The barista will look at you with terror in her eyes.  That is, once you explain to her that espresso is traditionally the central component of a cappuccino.  She will then hold her breath in anticipation of you taking a sip of the unadulterated sludge.

And let me describe to you the flavor that you will experience.  I assume that most of my readers have experience with a break room.  Most break rooms have those Bunn-style coffee makers in them running all day.  You know the ones I am talking about.  You pull out the filter cup, open the pre-packaged baggie of coffee grounds, slide it into the machine, hit the button, and it begins to brew.  Within just a few minutes, you have a pot of mediocre coffee.  Ever notice what happens when someone leaves that little dribble in the pot and places it back on the hot burner?  It makes that tar-like substance in the bottom and smells like Juan Valdez had one too many burritos.  That smell is exactly like the flavor your tongue will experience.  Use caution!  Make sure there are no children within range of your disgusted spew.

As a bonafide coffee snob, I consider what Starbucks does to those poor beans an abomination.  I come by the coffee snob title quite honestly.  At our house, we order our coffee beans green from Caracolillo Coffee Mill.  We roast a little at a time so as to preserve the freshness.  We grind them using a burr grinder and then brew them in a fancy imported espresso machine that we didn’t pay retail for.  One of these:

Mmm.  Even if we had paid retail, it would be a fraction of what some people have spent on their morning status symbols lattes.  I will freely admit that I do not have time every morning to perform the coffee ritual.  In those cases, I drink the drip from the break room because I refuse to pay an outrageous sum of money for the swill they pass off as coffee.

I will lose no sleep over the loss of Starbucks.  In fact, I may have to have an espresso martini this evening.  I’ll raise my glass in toast to the downfall of the aberration.

Does this offend you?

Apparently the Muslims in Scotland are offended.  Yes, this adorable German Shepherd is unclean according to them.  Wonder how they are going to react when they learn that little Rebel has graduated and will actually be out roaming the streets.  The horror!

Unfortunately, it seems the Scots are rolling over.  They’ve officially issued an apology.

I would have told them to get over it.  I mean, it is a picture of a dog.  Not even a real dog.  It is not like some one drew a cartoon or anything.  If you have a complaint, please call.  And remember, it is not an emergency, so you will need to use the new non-emergency number that you’ve just been notified of.  If you’ve lost it, I’d be happy to send you another postcard.

And Rachel covered it too.  Dang she’s fast.

Oh yeah! Check me out.  Wearing my new favorite T-shirt.

Yes, as a matter of fact, that is me riding a mechanical bull.  Here’s more.

The next one is sure to make the Googler’s happy.  Since they continue to find my blog by searching for ‘Jennifer’s ass.’

And then I fall.  Truth be told, I fell a lot.  But this is all the photographic evidence.

They said if I wrinkled my nose, it would help.  They lied.  Making faces is always supposed to help.

Read the rest…

It’s a scary place and you will probably come back sticky.  Tofu is a bitch to get out of your hair.  Worse than the cheese in my keyboard, but that’s another story.  But in order to take a peek into how the moonbats view us, take a peek over here.

Go on, I’ll wait.

Back?  Good.  Here’s a towel, there’s a line for the shower.  Don’t worry if you drop the soap, it’s safe to pick it up.

Conservatives are living in fear.  Ah yes, that must be why we’re afraid of our law abiding neighbors owning guns.  Oh wait, that’s not from our side.  Hmm.  That must be why we think the state should sponsor our health care.  Oops!  Not ours either.  I’ve got it!  That must be why we’re lapping up the drool of the Goracle in fear of globull worming.  Oh right, silly me.  That’s a leftist view too.  Then it must be because we rend our clothes and gnash our teeth because the rest of the world might not LIKE us.  You know, since United States policy should be a giant popularity contest in the world.  It’s televised and judged by text messages.  Dang!  Liberal view again.  But we’re the ones living in fear.  Promise.

We’re not afraid of terrorists nuking us because we have superior firepower.  We rest easy each and every night knowing that the terrorists are far too cowardly to engage us in something like that.  We aren’t afraid of gay people convincing us that we like sodomy because we have individual thought that isn’t guided by MSNBC. And the rest?  Oh please.  I suppose we may be slightly more likely to wind up in a pool of urine because we graduated from diapers and suckling a long, long time ago.