Teasing Death

Met this guy the other day.

Jen1

Evyl stood his ground

Michael1

The TeenBot sized him up. Besides, there was a bear in a sombrero there for back-up.

Isaac

Me? I did the only logical thing.

Jen2Brat

What? How would you react to meeting death in a gift shop? I knew he wasn’t there for me. When death comes for me, it’ll be random, hilarious, and earn me the lifetime achievement spot on the rubber knife award.

Elsewhere

If I’m going to be funny on the internet, I should really make with the funny here.

and

And a thought for my readers, now that Oklahoma has to recognize marriage licenses from New Jersey, how long until New Jersey has to recognize my carry permit? I mean, it’s not like civil rights should apply to everyone, everywhere. Particularly those rights actually mentioned in the Constitution.

Personally, I’m for consenting adults marrying who they want, smoking what they want, and having the right to protect themselves with an assault rifle if they so choose.

TGIF Because I Couldn’t Do This Again Tomorrow

I’m trying. Really. A friend of mine says that the world tears you down when you’ve got a blessing coming. The more tribulations, the bigger the blessing. If she’s right, something pretty good must be coming after today.

The alarm went off this morning. I was confused as to why until I realized that it is in fact Friday, not Saturday. Not that I could have stayed in bed much longer anyway because it had sprung a leak. Yes, the EvylRobot household contains a waterbed. Well, currently it’s a vinyl bag of foam in a frame, but there is generally water inside of it. So here we are at 6 in the morning attempting to start a siphon so we can throw the garden hose out the bedroom window. Yes, we’ve got a couple of those drain fill thingies and an adapter that goes from the garden hose fitting to male pipe threads to connect to bathroom sinks. Guess what our sinks have? The male end. And unfortunately, despite the end of the Defense of Marriage act, you cannot marry the male threads of the adapter to male threads in the sink. I know, the household plumbing is not very progressive.

Not to worry, the master bedroom window is just above the hose faucet in the back yard. Heh. Remember what happened last time we turned that one on? (checking archives) Oh! Maybe I didn’t tell you! Yeah, it started spraying water in the master bathroom. Good times.

So we ran a hose out the front door to the front faucet to start the siphon. But, of course, we can’t very well just leave the front door open, so we kinked the hose and I threw it out the window to drain in the back yard. And with that, I left for work.

You know how this system is supposed to do this thing? Yeah, it doesn’t. Oh and this fix that you swore to me in yesterday’s meeting that kept me at the office late. It didn’t really fix the problem and in fact broke something else. Of course I can go ahead and work a miracle on a system I don’t manage since the customer is on the phone right now.

So I got parts of that delegated out and hey! I’m only 7 minutes late to the daily mile walk. Surely I can catch my co-workers. The brisk cool air will clear my head, right? Hack. Cough. Spit. Ah well, one sub 14 minute mile for the kids.

Pour out cold coffee, pour fresh cup, and straight into a conference call. Guess whose phone decided to cut out? You’re an excellent guesser. Not to worry, the guy in the next office is on same call, I’ll just slide over and sit in with him.

Did I mention that my office is adjacent to my director’s office? He’s cool and didn’t mind at all, but then I had to rehash all the morning’s issues to him. Hopefully I didn’t smell too bad after the speed walking.

Pour out more cold coffee. Pour fresh cup.

Now to go educate another department about the broken system that they just assured me was fixed yesterday. Then assure someone else that the problem does actually exist. Then show them. Again. Then show the boss of that group an hour later.

Oh look! Instant message! ‘Hey Jennifer, I know this isn’t really your job/responsibility/skill set, but would you mind pulling this rabbit out of your hat?” Oh sure, why not. It’s not like I have any deadlines looming.

And now it’s 3:30 and I haven’t had lunch. There’s some beef jerky in my desk drawer. I suppose that will have to do. Customers are happy, so there is that.

I have not yet gone to hide in the basement, but I’m tempted. It is happy hour yet?

 

Updates

So, um, yeah. I’ve been away from the blog box for a bit. I guess you might have noticed.  Sorry about that. Don’t worry, I haven’t been beheaded in a “workplace violence incident” nor am I huddled in a bubble to avoid Ebola. I’ve just been busy.

Soon we’ll have the final numbers for this year’s Kilted to Kick Cancer campaign. Great job, guys. And now that Kilted to Kick Cancer is a bonafide charity in its own right, these dollars go farther and do more good than they have in the past. Bravo!

If you are one of my followers on Twitter or maybe a friend on the Facebook, you’ve seen that I’m walking a mile every day for Children’s Miracle Network. And you already know, I’m not just walking, I’m trying to raise money. As of this writing, I am $21 away from my goal to raise $272 for the kids and their families. ETA: We did it! Thank you, you guys rock. Yes, there is still time to sponsor me.

In heavier news, Psalm Angel Guadalupe, daughter of Erik and Sabra Onstott, has completed her journey. Hers was a life lived surrounded by love. Never alone, and she will never be forgotten. They could use your help, your prayers, and some peace.

We are praying for our friends that left this morning to drill wells in the Congo. Actually, teach the locals to drill wells. Yes, it’s crazy, but it’s good work. It’s easy to take things like clean water for granted when you live in a first world country.

I have now gone a full five days without injuring myself. The end is near, folks.

 

Kilted To Kick Cancer: The Stunts

Prizes are great, but we all love to see the silliness the guys will partake in for the cause. Did you catch EvylRobot and the offspring on a roller coaster?

Or how about EvylRobot and the not so itsy bitsy spider?

Not enough to entice you to donate?

Well then maybe you should check out the shenanigans that my friends Ambulance Driver and Stingray are cooking up. You know that voice in your head that tells you that maybe you should hold back a bit? Yeah, these guys don’t have that voice.

And really, what good is dignity if you can’t put it on the line for a good cause?

Kilted to Kick Cancer: OldNFO

He would have pictures up, but you’d need a security clearance to see them. Yes, our own International Man of Mystery is soliciting your funds to help find a cure.

ktkc-flyer-940x682 (1)

He’s even sweetened the pot by putting up not one, but two signed books for anyone that donates $50 in support of Team Old NFO.

I haven’t gotten a sneak peek at this second book (I was a BAD beta reader the first time around), but if you haven’t read his first book, you need to. It’s got action, adventure, and characters that you’d like to have over for a BBQ. I will be picking up the second book at my earliest opportunity. OldNFO is a good friend, most certainly to me, but I’d be willing to bet that he is to you also. Even if you don’t know it.

Even if you can’t give, get checked. Those statistics are no lie.

And if you can give, Team Old NFO could use your support. And you could get a couple of really great books out of the deal. They make great gifts too.