Category Archives: Serious Stuff

You Are Not Alone

Posted on by
12

I’m no stranger to depression, and I’m glad everyone is talking about it. As I said elsewhere

I, for one, am glad we’re talking about this. Depression lies and not even fame and fortune can drown it out. Of course, his decision wasn’t right, but he apparently felt like it is all he had. And the very fact that so many were touched by his life and feeling the loss proves that he was wrong. Proves that he did mean something to so many people. Maybe someone else that is feeling so alone can hear that message and make a better choice. Calling it selfish is cruel over-simplification. Instead, lets point out the ripples of heartache and pain. Focus on the brilliance and the gifts bestowed on all of us. The tragedy of it all is that he forgot. Depression’s lies drowned out everything else for him. 
There are many of us out there that fight with depression on a regular basis. The extroverts among us usually hide it pretty well. To see someone that seemed to be winning that battle lose it after so many years is rough. I haven’t seen anyone celebrating or glorifying his death, instead pointing out the tragedy of a life ended too soon.

The pain of depression is very, very real. The desire to end it all to make it go away is strong. Don’t. Even if you escape your demons in the end, you leave them for someone else. Someone you love will find you and they will have to deal with not only your remains but the very demons you hoped to silence. And some new ones as well.

When it feels like it is too much, get help. It probably is too heavy for you to lift alone. One man couldn’t lift a train, but it was nothing when the burden was shared. Your load is no different, and you will be amazed at how many will volunteer to lift it.

Depression lies. Depression tells you that you are alone and that you don’t matter. It tells you that no one cares. Depression kills but only if you let it. Only if you listen. Depression speaks with the devil’s tongue.

You, the real you-the one behind the mask, matter. Peek around that wall. You are not alone. Your spark is precious.

Yesterday, depression lied to 22 veterans and 1 Robin Williams. The monkey stopped dancing, and I’m not laughing. Tomorrow it will lie to more people. We need to keep talking about it. Maybe if we do, we’ll start to drown out the lies.

Jenny, the Blogess, linked a piece she wrote earlier this year that deserves re-reading. I’ll just leave you with her words.

Tell someone that you love them, or that they’re important.  And tell yourself.  Because it’s true.

So, Here We Go

Posted on by
10

We’ll just start with the graphic

I stand with Erin Palette banner

Today is a big day for my friend, Erin. Follow that link because it answers most of the questions.

It’s funny, she actually told Michael before she told me. And then she let Michael tell me. My initial reaction, “That explains a lot.”

Then I proceeded to message with Erin on Facebook and tell her how much I appreciated her trusting me with her big secret and how honored I was that she’d be so vulnerable with me. Since then, we’ve had conversations about whether or not it was time to tell the world. My answer has always been the same, “You have to do what is right for Erin. I will support whatever decision you make.”

You see, Erin has always just been Erin. Since I am in a happy, committed, monogamous relationship, her fiddly bits or who she’d like to share them with are none of my business nor concern. She had already proven herself to be a good friend to me and the rest of the gun-blogging community. Something she has just done again in support of Bonnie (click that link too). I judged her on the content of her character and found it good.

I’ve learned a lot about her struggle that I never would have realized had she not been so willing to be so frank with me and had the patience to explain when I have blundered into an offensive landmine. My eyes are opened to a world I never saw prior to knowing her.

Brigid, as usual, said it beautifully

What if just for a day, you were judged solely on what you’ve read, what you’ve learned the hard way, what you are, what drives and inspires. What if you were valued for your innate abilities to survive and prosper through that day without birthright; handling yourself and your actions without apology, but simply by the human vanity of your own strengths and the grace of He who loves us as we are.

If that day came, who would the world see?

You see, I have the advantage of looking like my image of myself. It’s me looking back from the mirror. When you see me, it’s me. Sure, it’s not everything. I’m sure you see the confident woman I am always striving to be. You see the brown eyes, the olive skin, the dark hair. The same olive skin and dark eyes that meant my elementary school best friend wasn’t allowed to come to my house because I was one of ‘those people’ to her mother. Her mother couldn’t see me. You all saw Erin long before you ever saw her face, and Erin is beautiful.  I am proud to stand by her side and call her my friend.

Evict Lyme – Evyl Robot Edition

Posted on by
5

Evyl Robot here, hijacking Jennifer’s Head. Look here b*****s, Bonnie hasn’t received nearly enough money for her FUNdraiser so far, and we are looking at a little over 25 hours until it closes. This. Is. Not. Acceptable. My esteemed associate, Dennis, has put up a very nice holster as a prize in this deal, and I happen to have caught up on a bunch of my own holster work. Since we don’t have enough donations, and I have a little more free time, I’m going to put in another custom holster. Feast your hungry little eyes on this:

DSC_0072

That’s a black leather 1911 Hidden Stitch Pancake with a red ostrich embossed inlay with an Evyl Robot logo underlay and red stitching.

DSC_0074

Feast your eyes I say!

DSC_0087crop

But you can’t have that one. Hahahahahhaa! That one is the one my brother has been wearing for over a year now. I will make a new holster like that one if, and only if the donations turn out significantly higher than at current. As in, three or four times what they currently are. Otherwise, I’m throwing in a plain black Hidden Stitch Pancake holster that fits a five-inch 1911. It’s still a sweet holster, but you don’t get the detail work in that case.

You see as things stand now, I look at the prize packages stacked in my living room, and I look at the funds raised, and I’m disappointed. This isn’t a contest. People are getting a bargain on this loot! It’s time to step up the game. These people and companies have donated some really nice stuff and the entries have not even paid for it yet! They’d be better off if they simply donated the value of their work to Bonnie’s fund. But, it’s not over yet. Please, make this thing worth it. Help out Bonnie and win cool stuff. How can you go wrong?

*Waiting patiently to log additional donations for Bonnie’s FUNdraiser.*

For One of Our Own

Posted on by
3

I had the pleasure of meeting Dave this summer.  He’s a great guy with a determined spirit. And I like him, in spite of him showing me up in class ;)  Helps that he makes me sound like a rock star in describing it.

This summer, the talk was remission.  Now, it’s a return to the hospital.

Please join me in offering positive thoughts and prayers his way.  And yeah, this sentiment still applies.

Get better Scout26.  I want a rematch.

*By the way, it’s September.  Have you signed up for Kilted to Kick Cancer yet?  There are some really great prizes!

I Didn’t Know You Could Play Guitar

Posted on by
7

But that’s because the cancer had already taken that away when I met you.  Although, it wasn’t for several months that I even knew you were sick.  You were just my friend that sang in the choir.  The friend that always made sure to check on me when I wasn’t feeling well.  The friend that always had time to make sure I was doing alright.

All while you were fighting this awful thing with no complaint.  That’s why I didn’t know that you could play.  You never complained that cancer had taken that away from you.  When the cancer took away your solid foods, you took it as a challenge to figure out how to liquefy a steak dinner.  When the doctors were worried about the blockage in your intestine, you sent a prayer request to all of us to pray for poop.  I replied that I’d never said such a crappy prayer.  (Thankfully, you also appreciated my terrible puns.)

Sometimes I felt guilty when you’d offer me encouragement.  I was just being whiny about some headache.  You were still showing up to choir after your heart had nearly stopped.

But I learned today that you could play guitar.  I even got to hear you do it.  It was a great surprise to hear you sing again.  What a beautiful gift to record CD’s for 14 years for your family.  And a wonderful gift to us to get the chance to hear you again as we said goodbye.

Your time with us was far too short.  But you certainly touched lives.  Thank you, Eric.  Your crown is bound to be heavy with all the jewels you’ve earned.  But you’ll never complain about the weight.

I Have A Word

Posted on by
4

The Greek word translated in most English Bibles as compassion is splagchnizomai.

to be moved in the inward parts, i.e. to feel compassion

…

splagxnízomai – “from splanxna, ‘the inward parts,’ especially the nobler entrails – the heart, lungs, liver, and kidneys. These gradually came to denote the seat of the affections“

That’s the feeling with the latest news on Madison this morning.  As our senior pastor says, “Hit in the guts.”

I work with Madison’s mom.  She’s part of my ladies Bible study group.  And she is living through a parent’s worst nightmare.  Her daughter has cancer.  They are talking about palliative care and experimental treatments because there is nothing else left.

I can’t even wrap my mind around that kind of fear.  Just thinking about it gives me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Sheer terror.  Splagchnizomai-moved in my inward parts.

I’ve only ever seen Madison once.  She was a tiny angel.  I mean that literally.  It was Halloween.  She was dressed as an angel.  Her mom brought her to the office to trick-or-treat around the cubes.

God,

I know You’ve got this one.  I know Your thoughts are not my thoughts, but I’m praying for a miracle for this little girl and her family.  Give them the peace that only You can provide.

Amen

Still There

Posted on by
5

She’s still in the hospital. She’s been there 10 days this go around.  There is more cancer. Going to visit her this afternoon.  Her mother called to tell me she wouldn’t be coming back to work when she said she would.  I told her that should be the least of her worries.

Sigh.  We were all hoping for better news.  They are trying to get her strength up so she can handle whatever the next stage of treatment will be.

Her spirits are pretty low.  If you can spare a thought, she could use it.

Seems the big C is all around lately.  My great aunt was diagnosed with leukemia late last week and had to have her spleen removed.  Please keep her and the family in your thoughts too.  Especially her daughter who is completely worn out with taking care of her parents.

Me?  Hanging in there just fine.  But I’ve only got so many thoughts to spare for those around me so I’ve got to ask for yours.

I hope to get a gunny fun post up later, and I’m looking forward to lots of fun at Christina’s shindig this weekend.