Emerson: Head Sticker

Yep, I was inspired.

In Emerson’s continuing attempt to be Sunny’s running mate, he has decided to submit this picture.

Emerson head sticker

He understands that it may cause some controversy, but feels it is still appropriate. Displaying his love for Cuties makes him more real to the voters. By displaying his personality, he dispels any question about being just another politician. It also shows that he is unashamed to proclaim his feelings whether by sticker or raspy purr.

As no vice presidential selection committee has been announced to the public, Emerson submits himself to be vetted by the blogosphere as a show of faith in the grassroots support of the candidacy.

Dear Sunny Part 2

Dear Sunny,
Emerson wanted you to see his classy side. Although he is tough and knows how to use his claws when needed, he is also able to host a diplomatic state dinner.
Emerson knows that you are reviewing applications for the right running mate and feels it is important that you understand what kind of cat he is.
Emerson is very concerned with the economy. He lives within his means. He has a nice three tier cat tree with two catnip balls. Although he would have been approved for the full cat-castle with hammocks, ropes, and multiple towers, he didn’t get it because he understood that interest rates will change and he would soon be over his head. Therefore, he does not feel compelled to bail out the selfish morons that can’t understand basic economics. If they need to sell their castle and move into a kitty condo, tough. They will have learned their lesson and won’t make the same mistake next time.
Emerson and I have spent a lot of time discussing the entitlement crisis that exists in our society. It is just in kitteh’s (and doggies) nature to take the treat when it is offered. He admits that he has even accepted treats that he did not earn. His proposed solution is to return charity to the private sector. Those that have earned their treats will then have the option of sharing them with those less fortunate. But if they choose to keep their tuna (or pork) all for themselves, they have that right as well. In this way, citizens can choose what charities they want to support. If they want to hand their surplus treats out freely with no questions asked, they have that right. But if they want to only support charities that are working to return the less fortunate to the work force and thus tax paying citizens, they have that right as well. A capitalist nation has no responsibility to feed those that do not work. The government is not in the business of charity.
After discussing health-care at length with Emerson, he reminded me that he would still prefer to never, ever ride in the vomit inducing vehicle only to be poked with something sharp while they tell him what a good kitteh he is. He did remind me that it is a far better experience when it is his turn than with the interloper. He did state that some changes should be made. First of all, the price of a medical procedure should be the same whether you come in to pay for it in cash or if it will be paid by your insurance company. This would allow people (and wage earing dogs and cats) to use personal savings as their own medical insurance. Also, insurance companies should be able to compete across state lines. In this way, the free market will naturally regulate the rates without costing tax payers.
Since Ferrule was mentioned, Emerson felt he must tell you more about the brat. Since it is apparent that he has been granted amnesty by the home owners, he felt it was necessary that he learn the rules of the house. And these rules must be enforced. As evidence of the training and enforcement given to Ferrule, Emerson submits this picture of Ferrule pooping in the toilet.
No, he does not flush as he is too easily entertained by the swirling water and the humans don’t want to pay for that.
Emerson would like to invite Sunny to have a drink with him and discuss matters further.
Sunny/Emerson ’08

PS. Emerson does not believe that our souls are broken.

Dear Sunny

Dear Sunny Lucas,

With all of the turmoil happening in the election, Emerson has decided he would like to enter the race. Although he is not interested in the presidency at this time, it has become abundantly clear that what the candidates need is a strong running mate. Someone that both compliments and balances the presidential candidate. After researching those in the running, Emerson humbly requests that you consider him for your running mate. That is, if you can get over the obvious urge to eat him.

Here are some of the reasons that Emerson is specially qualified to be the running mate of Sunny Lucas:

1. What better way to gain the kitteh vote? You are a strong and yet polarizing candidate. Although many of the felines agree with your views, it is difficult to vote for a dog in office.

2. Emerson has very strong feelings about illegal immigration. Emerson came to live in his home through the appropriate channels. He was rescued by Pets for Friends and adopted through their partnership with PetSmart. Fees were paid and legal hoops were jumped through. Life was good for Emerson until almost 2 years ago. Emerson’s human felt sorry for a little underfed, flea-ridden, nearly hairless wild kitten and brought him into the house. Ferrule skipped all the appropriate channels and was suddenly given lap time with the human. He still remains in the house to this day. Here he is wearing a Saint Patrick’s Day t-shirt hanging out with the beer.
It’s difficult to tell from the picture, but I promise that he is nothing more than a freeloading bum that has stolen his human’s affection. He steals the treats and runs away with the toys. Something must be done before more like him are allowed to enter Emerson’s home. Emerson proposes putting up a fence and posting guards to check his humans (especially the mama one) for freeloading stowaways. The guards will pay for themselves with the money saved because the humans will not have to feed the freeloaders. The established, legal adoption/immigration program works quite well and controls the flow of ingrates. It needs only to be enforced.

3. As I am sure you can tell from the picture, Emerson is definitely anti-gun control. Gun control laws only serve to limit law abiding citizens and does nothing to prevent crime and protect the innocent.

4. Emerson understands that we are a country at war and must finish the task at hand. Otherwise, our national security would be compromised.

5. And finally, Emerson believes that, like him, all politicians should be neutered (or spayed). He believes that this is the most efficient and reliable way to prevent distractions and scandal that would tarnish the office of the President of the United States.

Emerson is very serious about this request and is anxiously awaiting your response. Please respond at your earliest convenience.

By the way, Emerson is not a big fan of pork or green beans so there will be no risk of him trying to get in on that action.

Sunny/Emerson ’08