Shoes Make The News

Via fellow shoe lover, Phlegmmy, I find that apparently you can judge people by the content of their shoe closet*. And yes, Phlegmmy is bright, cute, quirky, and delightful, much like the shoe she posted.

Well I just so happen to be wearing a favorite pair of my shoes today, so let’s have a look.
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4.5 inch heel with a hidden platform.  They bring my height up to a not-so-towering 5′ 8.5″. And save me the trouble of hemming my jeans.

They are a stormy, shimmery blue. Not so Thundery as these

or these

Sigh.  Sportball meets fashion.  Or maybe collides with.

Typical June in Oklahoma. Everyone is talking about the Thunder and the Heat. Except this year, it’s not the weather. They tell me that some very tall men are meeting with some other very tall men to squeak their sneakers around and throw a ball from varying distances into a basket. I am unsure how this skill is useful in the zombie apocalypse, but since they are going to Miami, I hope they are prepared.

Strangely, it’s hard not to get swept up into the spirit just a little.  No, I still don’t plan to actually watch.  But I did actually purchase a piece of licensed merchandise so I could take part in this picture.

First row, 3rd from the left.  You probably can’t see them, but I am wearing bright yellow snakeskin stilettos in that picture. Previously seen here.

*Mine happens to be over-flowing.

Hey Honey! Foot Doctors Say I Should Own More Shoes

It’s true.  I swear. See, here’s a link. It’s a bonafide thing I read on the internet.

Also, I’m immune to this

Scientists at the University of East Anglia recently warned that high heels could be to blame for flat feet, a painful condition affecting around 15 per cent of people.

I was born with flat feet and thus, they cannot get flatter. And it isn’t painful either. It’s my superhero power.  I am Stiletto Girl.

And since I am uniquely qualified to test and evaluate high heeled shoes, I believe Prada should send me these.

pic via AutoGuide.com

I like cars.  I can drive a standard in 4inch stilettos. I wear Italian size 38. I took a home defense shotgun class in 3 inch heels.

So, Prada marketing person, email jennifer AT injennifershead DOT com so we can work out the details.

Assault Stilettos

Clearly, these assault weapons shoes have gotten out of control.  Here we have yet another innocent victim of rampant gun heel violence.

Police said the stiletto penetrated the eye socket and touched the victim’s brain.

Something must be done.  We can no longer tolerate these dangerous things on the streets.  Civilians have no sporting stylish use for such things.  They should only be available to the military and police dancers and models who receive special training.  There is no benefit to the general public.  In fact, statistics show that gun owners heel wearers are far more likely to suffer injury related to the use of such things.  In fact, just handling a firearm seeing a woman in 3″ heels raises the testosterone levels of most men.  Testosterone is directly linked to aggressive behavior.

I am a gun owner heel wearer myself, and I understand the inherent danger.  I’ve been through modeling school and practice regularly.  Anything beyond 10-rounds 2 inches should only be in on the hands feet of professionals.

Shoe Update

Well it is freaking cold as predicted.  But I wore these shoes anyway.  The orange pair.  I wore the other pair yesterday.  Just thought you’d like to know.

My kid’s school district decided at midnight last night to close the schools giving me plenty of time to plan.  So he’s at work with me today with his DS and a portable DVD player.  I kind of like balancing GL accounts while listening to The Incredibles.

*I’m outrageously busy at work.  Thus, short posting.

Sensible Shoes

I wanted to write you some great snarky post today.  We all know there’s plenty of material out there.

The weekend was busy and all choir stuff.  Rehearsal on Saturday and then the big Christmas Cantata on Sunday.  Got lots of compliments.  I believe this was recorded also.  I don’t have a copy yet.

And then last night, the damn tray tables jumped out in front of me and picked a fight in the hall.  I had to kick them.  It was a strategic blow delivered with only the little toe of my left foot.  Snap.  Owie! Owie!

But this morning the tray tables were standing in their assigned place without even a hint of picking another fight.  Guess I showed them. Since it is now acceptable to grade yourself, I’m giving myself an F.  You see, I apparently accomplished something which must be a fail in the new grading scale.

But alas, I am resigned to wearing very sensible shoes.

Oh Hai!

I guess you may have noticed the light posting.  Yeah, I’m on vacation.  I’m hijacking my host‘s computer currently.  I’ll update as I can.

Yesterday was spent hunting the the elusive purple shoes.  I was successful in finding a great pair, but alas, they did not have them in my size.  And so the hunt continues.  But the pair that got away were beautiful.
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Multi-hued, Brazilian made goodness.  And they were on sale.  Sigh.

At least I got a great pair of earrings.
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also on sale.  And kinda purple.

Later our lovely host and hostess treated us to a smoked meat-stravaganza.  Mmm.  Venison and pork chops and chicken and sausage.  All under the watchful gaze of the resident guard cat.
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Redneck Fashionista

So my new friend got a fabulous new purse.  So cute.

It made me realize that I don’t have camo stilettos.  This is a problem that must be rectified.  Google to the rescue!

camo stiletto

Oh yeah!  That’s a Jennifer shoe right there.  And with a 6 inch heel, I would be 5’10″!