As most of you know, I’m an animal lover.  Of both the tasty and cuddly varieties.  And so I feel it is my duty to show you what some Marines in Afghanistan have been doing to some kittens.  I must warn you, it’s not for the faint of heart.

Pweese Don't Eats Me!

That’s right.  What you see here is a big bad Marine about to make out with a kitten.  Do you know what that could lead to?

This.

Sleeping With The Natives

You can see what a toll this is taking on the local kitten population.  Just look at this poor kitteh.  So worn out he fell asleep under a hat.

So very tired

I would tip the hat to Jezebel, but it might disturb the feline.

And here is the contact information for an SPCA initiative that helps bring these animals to safety! You can donate online to Operation Baghdad Pups.

So we were browsing eBay looking at pipes.  Because that’s what every married couple does when their kid is out of town with his grandparents and they have the whole house to themselves.  I’m telling you the juicy stuff people.  (Maybe.  I like to pretend that this is a family friendly site sometimes.)

But none of that is the interesting part.  No, what is interesting is that we found this:

Renown "Lady"

Now I’m impressed with the obvious talent here.  But what makes her a “lady” in quotes?  I think I might know.  Here, look more closely.

Look closer

Look familiar?  How about now?

That’s right!  The renown “lady” is none other than Aston Kutcher in drag!

Update: Don’t know why the pictures vanished from this post. They should be back now.

Maybe it’s due to the seasonal change, but it seems there have been a lot of odd crimes lately.

First up, we have a man that went on a stabbing spree in the grocery store to protest eating meat.  He was upset at his grandmother…for cooking a pot roast.  So he did the only rational thing and decided to take it out on the meat department.  No, not the butchers or even the customers.  He attacked the meat.  Because killing pieces of already dead animals really brings your message home.

And speaking of grocery store violence, police shoot, kill ax toting man at a grocery store.  Prior to threatening the officers with an ax, he was just hanging out stabbing himself and telling an employee that he “killed people.”  No word on whether or not he was upset with the produce section.

And we’ve got a fake FBI agent hiring her neighbors to do clerical work.    Playing make-believe is one thing, but delegating out the tedium of your fantasy is taking it a bit far.  Have to wonder about the neighbors that fell for it.

Then there is the tale of the insurance agent that went back to rob his customer.  Seems like a decent gig.  Find out all about a guy’s assets and then come back with a gun.  Got the casing part down.  But generally, you shouldn’t wait in the car while your mark goes into the bank to withdraw the money.

But this one has to be my favorite.  It’s got everything.  A police chase.  A fleeing suspect.  And what even looks like a clean getaway.  The suspect dashes from his vehicle and jumps a fence to safety.  The safety of the prison yard.  I have this mental image of the guy getting over the fence and looking back at the officers ready to deliver some version of “you’ll never take me alive!”  The officers double over in laughter as the prison guards approach from behind.

Because nothing says I love you like bacon.

I mean, just look at that. You only thought roses smelled good. You were so very wrong. And this is so right.

If you get these, someone really loves you. Come on, they gave you bacon.

And yes, somehow I beat Breda to a bacon post. What is this world coming to? Instinct has a bacon post up too!

Every day, people exit the gene pool.  Once in a while, someone decides to do it in a spectacularly stupid fashion.

A man crashed his car into a power pole.  Car accidents involving a car and a stationary object happen regularly too, generally leaving the driver of said vehicle feeling pretty stupid.  And this was no different.  The car accident did not kill him.  In fact, he escaped unharmed and called a relative to pick him up.

While he was waiting, he heard nature’s call and chose to relieve himself there on the side of the road.  On a power line.  A live power line.

Deputy Pimentel says that Messengers’ family found him electrocuted in the ditch when they arrived, and burn marks indicated that Messenger’s stream of urine brought a shocking jolt of electricity up his…

Yeah.  Wow.

I swear.  I did not make this up.  Here’s the link.

When you see warning labels on things, remember that they were probably written for this guy.  And also, this guy’s vote counted just as much as yours.  Now that he’s gone, it will probably count twice.

He’s just so misunderstood.  No one loves him.  No one really gets him.  Everyone just tells him that he’s cute.  Makes him want to cut himself.  And wear his little sisters jeans.  Just look how he exudes angst.

Emo bunny wants you to stop looking at him now.  He’s going to his room to listen to his whiny music and write poetry about the girls that never give him the time of day.

I got this in my department’s dirty Santa Party.

You can get one too.  Right here.  (yep, that’s a affiliate link.  If you click and buy, I make a little scratch.)

And he’s hilarious.  He has a magnet in his butt to pick up the paperclips.  I set him up immediately.  Now there’s a little green guy sitting on a toilet on my desk.  And hey, no smell!

I suppose munching on my pen doesn’t really cause smell issues.

But!  He needs a name.  So, help me name the green toilet guy!  Best name gets…Attention!  And BOLD font! And…and…um…  More attention!  Yeah, that’s the ticket.

No comment needed for this.  Just a lot of snickering.

*I know, short post.  Busy day.  Helped set up for the corporate luncheon.  Sang for the luncheon.  Cleared centerpieces from the tables.  Tried to still be somewhat productive at my job (the real one with a paycheck).  Smiled and said lots of thank yous for the accolades and compliments for the singing.  It was recorded; I don’t have a copy yet.  Rumor has it that it has been posted on Facebook.