I’m the Hammer

You people think I’m sugar and spice and everything nice.

Hey, I see you snickering over there in the corner! Can it.

Conversation from the office:

Un-named coworker [3:59 PM]:

hey lady :)  i have mostly good news

Jennifer  [3:59 PM]:


<redacted boring work stuff>

Jennifer  [4:01 PM]:

Hmm. So what do we do with these?

Un-named coworker [4:02 PM]:

i bumped <redacted>, she said that <redacted> was gone for the day but to email her

i figured before i went down that path, i would let you know… basically to gauge if i should send her a nice, calm email, or if you’d prefer to send something more strongly worded yourself

<more boring work stuff>

Jennifer  [4:03 PM]:

Oh, so I’m the hammer now:P

Un-named coworker [4:03 PM]:

that’s why they pay you the big bucks :D


Jennifer  [4:04 PM]:

Go ahead. If we don’t hear anything, I’ll follow up

Un-named coworker[4:04 PM]:

well, poo!  i’ll hit her up since it sticks around on our todo list until it’s done

and i’ll cc you

Jennifer  [4:04 PM]:


And there you have it folks. A day in the life of Jennifer.

Well That’s a New One

As I’m sure you’ve noticed, I share my home with a number of fuzzy critters. Said fuzzy critters tend shed. They also like to snuggle my laptop.

Yes, that is 50 pounds of feline piled up there. Our kitties are super-sized.

As you can imagine, my laptop has a tendency to develop some over-heating issues from time to time. So I’ve made it a habit to take it apart regularly to blow out the cat hair.

Reasonable, right? And this last time, I finished with no extra screws!

Go team Jennifer!

Except, not. You see, my poor abused laptop has seen better days. It continues to run like a champ, but the casing is all cracked and one of the screw holes is completely stripped out. The little metal doo-hickey* with the threads actually fell out. Thus, this spot can no longer hold a screw.

And yet, no extra screws. Hmm. ‘Tis a conundrum.

I guessing I lost a screw somewhere along the way**, and that empty hole has now been filled in with the should have been extra screw.

Oh well. Laptop seems to plugging away once again and running as cool as it should so hopefully I can get to some of my posting backlog. I’ve got cosplay pics to share!

*It’s a technical term

**Yes, it has been confirmed. I do, indeed, have a screw loose.

At The Away Game

Oh the things that make me laugh before coffee. This was going through my head when I got up this morning and so I dropped it over at Tam’s place.

And then I thought to myself, “Hey Self! You’ve got a blog that’s kinda needing material. Ctrl-C; Ctrl-V that randomness posthaste!”

When you’re thirsty, feeling dry,
When the main’s been cut upstream, You won’t have to cry.
I’m a side by side. Oh! Enough for a bathtub.
When tap just won’t turn on.
Like a fridge full of bottled water
When the plumbing’s down
Like a fridge full of bottled water
When the plumbing’s down

(I should apologize to Simon and maybe even Garfunkel, but I’m blaming my brother. He wants me to sing the real version for his wedding. Hopefully this won’t pop out.)

And so I did. You’re welcome.

Random Musing

So, whatever happened to that “permanent record” the teachers always threatened to put things in? Does the NSA have that now? Just curious. I never did get my hand buzzer back that Mrs. Randolph confiscated in the 3rd grade. Is it in there?

So when you apply a spam filter, it filters out the spam, but when you use a water or air filter, it filters everything EXCEPT water or air. And don’t even get me started on coffee filters…

When someone who is generally competent tells you, “I’ll get this put in today,” you generally assume that they put it in that day. And you know what happens when you assume.

Cat hugging was successful. No bleeding or anything.


Bloggity blog blog


And a bit of a whine* that I’m not in Indy this weekend :(

Bloggity blog blog blog


Psst-It’s more fun if you sing along.

I know. I’ve been neglecting you. Sorry! I need minions. Minions with 10-keys and mad Excel skills. And still more minions to care for those minions because I’m lousy at minion care which might be the reason I don’t have them. Maybe I once had minions but I let them starve. Or I drowned them in the tub because I forgot to turn off the water. Or maybe they are still lost because they are following the directions I gave the operator at Minions R Us. I didn’t get a tracking number.

*Why yes, I do have cheese to go with my whine. It’s right there on my work laptop.

The Pen Is Mighty

So I got one of those messages from Amazon wondering if I might be interested in some of their wares based on previous searches. I’m sure you get them too.

Never before have they presented me with such a sound investment opportunity. I could save $12,000! Just think what you could do with that kind of savings.

And what is this magical thing that could enrich my life so wonderfully? Well I’m glad you asked.fountain pen

That’s right. It’s an Omas Limited Edition Phoenix Plated Fountain Pen With Diamonds. You can take advantage of this fantastic opportunity as well by clicking on that link which just happens to be my affiliate link (which you are always welcome to use for all your shopping needs*). It’s like getting the 5th one for free!

No longer shall we toil with the pen we stole from the bank! For this, my friends, is the pen of the gods! But I must caution you. You should fill this fine instrument of writing with the blood of a recently slain dragon, ordinary ink would not do it justice and anger the gods of penmanship and prose. You can also substitute the blood of your enemies, but only if it is still warm.

One can’t help but wonder about the glorious stories that could be told. What weight those documents will bear. To look upon a margin doodle would cause grown men to weep. It’s magnificence cannot be overstated.

*Thank you to those of you that do just that. You are awesome. Especially you, person with the new microwave by Panasonic and all you voracious readers of text both digital and analog.