Can’t say I didn’t warn you
Enjoy stuffing that turkey next week!
Can’t say I didn’t warn you
Enjoy stuffing that turkey next week!
Language and cartoon gore warning. Definitely not safe for work.
How Billy Ray Cyrus should have reacted
Now you’ve shown the world what happened to my girl
You’ve torn off your clothes on MTV
Now I can’t face my friends. Oh what a fool I’ve been.
Whatever happened to my little Miley
I put you on the stage when you were underage
Sold your childhood out to Disney
I should have been a dad, instead I let you be a fad
Now look what you’ve grown up to be.
My daughter’s a tart, I didn’t do my part.
I just didn’t teach her any class
And now that’s she’s a tart, It really breaks my heart
If only I had spanked her little ass
I really wasn’t going to comment. But then my brain ran off on it’s own tangent and this happened. Feel free to add verses in the comments.
I reuse the Chinese take out containers. I mean why not? It’s like the bonus that comes with your food. It’s the boring grown-up version of the toy you could have once you finished your Happy Meal. Why else would they be dishwasher safe?
Except, I think ‘Microwave Safe’ means something different in China.
Or maybe that was just for the lid. So I checked.
Huh, I had no idea that ‘Microwave Safe’ was Chinese for ‘burn down the break room.’ Learn something new everyday.
When you see flames, you know your lunch is ready! Never mind the smoke and coughing co-workers. Nothing like the smell of burning plastic to whet your appetite. To the internet and beyond!
Oh those crazy Chinese with their lead laced children’s toys and toxic fume emitting to go boxes.
Mom! Look at me. I’m so cute. Pet me.
Fine. Pay attention to the glowy thing.
We’ll just get in a pile over here
Yes, they really are that ‘helpful.’ And apparently, I am not alone.
Cats have been ‘helping’ with content creation for centuries. And mice have never eaten my blog. Coincidence?
It was inevitable that they would take over the internet. It is their destiny.
Or something. Occasionally, I wade through the wonders of my spam trap to see what might have slipped in. And there, hiding among the offers of Real! Designer! Watches! I learn that I’ve become quite sought after in Russia. It’s like my own little not-exactly-literate fanclub. My comments are this color.
Let’s Talk More My Bunny
I’m intrigued. No one has ever called their bunny before
I have decided to write to you and I think that you will write to me. Oh yeah? Please do not hesitate and write to me. I think that we shall find much in common and we can better and closer learn each other. Learn each other? Um… I hope that I shall see your letter soon and mine of straight line E-mail: As opposed to all those crooked line e-mails <redacted>
you can write to me here and I shall necessarily answer you and to send my photo.
I wait with impatience of your letter. I’m sure you do.
This one’s been doing their research
I found your photos in Internet
No kidding? My picture is in Internet?!? Why was I not informed?
I believe in my luck and I am never tired to explore the world and to look for happy moments. I’d rather find the ridiculous and make fun of it, but I like happy moments too. But I dream of someone to share my luck with!
I love life in its bright colours.
I am an extremely active person who leads a healthy way of life. My hobby is drawing and sport(running). If I am running, that means something scary and probably bullet proof is chasing me.
I am seeking a caring, understanding and honest man. You can’t have mine. And that is why I have just one question, maybe it’s you ? Damn, those must be some pretty bad pictures in Internet.
Write to me <redacted> if you want to continue exploring with me!
And I can’t figure out if this is from Dasha or Anna or what
Hello I Dasha. Hi. I Jennifer. My friend I looked your structure. It has very much liked me. Damn that structure. Liking random characters in Internet. I want To correspond with you letters. Well since my structure likes you already, my letters might too, I suppose. I wish to inform directly on myself: My name is Anna. Wait, I thought I was talking to Dasha. You know, the one my structure likes. I was born in the city of Samara, Russia. I here live since a birth. A birth? Your birth? How many times have you been born? Do you get a new name each time? I was born in 1985. To me of 28 years. At me Brown eyes (beautiful.) Are you saying you like my brown eyes? I the blonde. I the brunette. I have no children, but I very much I wish to have the girl and the boy. Are these the chosen ones of your species? Has it been foretold? I think, that children in live-this most Happy. I love various cultures. Bacterial? Children are full of those. They can be fascinating. I like to study history, it to me Very much it is pleasant. Really? Some of the most interesting history comes from hardship and overcoming adversity. I work as the bookkeeper in firm. Is that in Internet? Mine Work very much is pleasant to me. I always thought mine work was rather dirty and grueling, but I’m glad you find it pleasant. Like history. At leisure I like to visit Library to go to cinema, to watch TV, go in sports Hall. Most my hobby is fitness. I very much like to go in for sports, I Much I run in the mornings. What is it with the runners? I The formed woman, has left school on 4 and 5. The formed woman? Out of clay? Mashed potatoes? The liquefied souls of people that answer your messages? Has then acted in University. Has finished it too well. Then I have gone to work. I studied as the bookkeeper. I know English language well enough. Well enough to be in Internet, I suppose. I think, that problems at us with dialogue will not be. I think, differently. I hope, that our dialogue will make sense. And I hope that someone randomly decides to sign over their fortune to me, but I guess that’s business for another e-mail. It would be fine, If I and you could do Friendship or more than simply friendship. Like SuperFriends? With special rings and things? I search Serious attitudes, Oops! and I shall be happy To study you more close. And now I’m worried about that liquification thing again. I’m not going to fit under a microscope in my current state. Will be It is fine, if we can exchange some letters and photos. Write to me what your purposes and plans during the future? I dream of whirled peas. That you search in To the woman? The formed one? I don’t even know what you’re asking here. Inform more on a place Where do you live. I shall look forward to hearing from You.
Write back on e-mail:<redacted>
Ask any questions which interest you. Write to me back, and I I shall inform more on me, my life. Also send my photos.
Kiss from Russia, Dariya Kisses and diarrhea from Russia, awesome.