At The Away Game

Oh the things that make me laugh before coffee. This was going through my head when I got up this morning and so I dropped it over at Tam’s place.

And then I thought to myself, “Hey Self! You’ve got a blog that’s kinda needing material. Ctrl-C; Ctrl-V that randomness posthaste!”

When you’re thirsty, feeling dry,
When the main’s been cut upstream, You won’t have to cry.
I’m a side by side. Oh! Enough for a bathtub.
When tap just won’t turn on.
Like a fridge full of bottled water
When the plumbing’s down
Like a fridge full of bottled water
When the plumbing’s down

(I should apologize to Simon and maybe even Garfunkel, but I’m blaming my brother. He wants me to sing the real version for his wedding. Hopefully this won’t pop out.)

And so I did. You’re welcome.

Random Musing

So, whatever happened to that “permanent record” the teachers always threatened to put things in? Does the NSA have that now? Just curious. I never did get my hand buzzer back that Mrs. Randolph confiscated in the 3rd grade. Is it in there?

So when you apply a spam filter, it filters out the spam, but when you use a water or air filter, it filters everything EXCEPT water or air. And don’t even get me started on coffee filters…

When someone who is generally competent tells you, “I’ll get this put in today,” you generally assume that they put it in that day. And you know what happens when you assume.

Cat hugging was successful. No bleeding or anything.

Bloggy

Bloggity blog blog

BLOG!!!!

And a bit of a whine* that I’m not in Indy this weekend :(

Bloggity blog blog blog

BLOG!! BLOG!! BLOG!!

Psst-It’s more fun if you sing along.

I know. I’ve been neglecting you. Sorry! I need minions. Minions with 10-keys and mad Excel skills. And still more minions to care for those minions because I’m lousy at minion care which might be the reason I don’t have them. Maybe I once had minions but I let them starve. Or I drowned them in the tub because I forgot to turn off the water. Or maybe they are still lost because they are following the directions I gave the operator at Minions R Us. I didn’t get a tracking number.

*Why yes, I do have cheese to go with my whine. It’s right there on my work laptop.
wpid-20140424_142025.jpg

The Pen Is Mighty

So I got one of those messages from Amazon wondering if I might be interested in some of their wares based on previous searches. I’m sure you get them too.

Never before have they presented me with such a sound investment opportunity. I could save $12,000! Just think what you could do with that kind of savings.

And what is this magical thing that could enrich my life so wonderfully? Well I’m glad you asked.fountain pen

That’s right. It’s an Omas Limited Edition Phoenix Plated Fountain Pen With Diamonds. You can take advantage of this fantastic opportunity as well by clicking on that link which just happens to be my affiliate link (which you are always welcome to use for all your shopping needs*). It’s like getting the 5th one for free!

No longer shall we toil with the pen we stole from the bank! For this, my friends, is the pen of the gods! But I must caution you. You should fill this fine instrument of writing with the blood of a recently slain dragon, ordinary ink would not do it justice and anger the gods of penmanship and prose. You can also substitute the blood of your enemies, but only if it is still warm.

One can’t help but wonder about the glorious stories that could be told. What weight those documents will bear. To look upon a margin doodle would cause grown men to weep. It’s magnificence cannot be overstated.

*Thank you to those of you that do just that. You are awesome. Especially you, person with the new microwave by Panasonic and all you voracious readers of text both digital and analog.

Abandoned Mac and Cheese

There’s a half eaten cup of macaroni and cheese sitting, abandoned, on the counter in the break room. Can’t help but wonder why.

wpid-20140219_123131.jpg

Did they get called away on an emergency?

Maybe they were beamed out?

Rapture?

Suddenly stricken with explosive diarrhea?

Sucked into a time vortex? Maybe the mac and cheese IS a time vortex.

I suppose we shall never know the story of the abandoned mac and cheese. Cold and alone on the countertop. Its cheesiness never to be enjoyed.

A tragedy for the ages.

Adding Whimsy

Today’s mantra has been, ” It is a rare day that cannot be improved by adding a touch of whimsy.”

And so I give you a bit of whimsy adding to my oh-so-professional office

wpid-20140203_081730.jpg

A gas pump lava lamp in the sea creature phase of warm up.

I’ve had this thing since I was in college. It hasn’t been lit up in years. My carpool buddy says that means that even back when I was majoring in music and waiting tables, I was destined to wind up in the fuel industry. I think it’s just a lucky bit of kitsch.

Apparently, when they have been dormant for that long, it takes several hours before they get all oozy again.

Yes, my desk organizer is a green dude on a toilet, why do you ask? I think he needs more fiber in his diet.