Bwahahahahaha! You think I’ve spent the entire day at home in my bedroom, when in reality, I’m frolicking around the city all willy nilly making all sorts of mischief. And tea. Lots of tea. Enough for a party. Neener! Neener!
Or, maybe in my pre-caffeine haze I forgot my phone and went to work.
But you, lowly spy, will never know whether or not there was frolicking.
Starring your humble host, the Uterus provided courtesy of the super awesome people of IHeartGuts.com, and Lyme Disease provided by the also super awesome people of GiantMicrobes.com. It is based on the experiences of Bonnie and described using my extensive knowledge of anatomy and physiology gleaned from years of experience in the field of accounting.
The scene opens with a uterus, Bonnie‘s to be specific. It was a happy uterus doing its happy uterus things.
Hello world!
One day, Uterus decided to go on an adventure in the great outdoors.
Hooray! Adventure!
And that’s where she met Lyme Disease.
New Friend!
Lyme Disease seemed awful cute but kinda clingy and got into everything.
Um, personal space
And so she adopted him.
I told you to stay OFF the ovary!
Uterus had been a model tenant up until she decided to go and adopt a pet spirochete. All its undulating made a real mess of the place.
Bad uterus. Lyme is a terrible influence on your behavior.
To make matters worse, because of Lyme disease, Uterus got all twisted up and bonded with her neighbor, Colon. Colon has a very important job to do and can’t really be wasting time with Uterus and Lyme. And since Uterus refuses to get rid of Lyme, it has been decided that they need to be evicted from the neighborhood.
Final notice!
But as you all know, eviction is a difficult and expensive process, Bonnie is going to need all the help she can get.
and scene
My silliness not withstanding, Lyme is not a laughing matter. But we are going to do our best to keep the FUN in FUNdraiser.
Consider this the official pre-launch of the evict Lyme Disease fundraiser/raffle to offset Bonnie’s medical costs. There will be prizes, but you do not have to wait for the official launch to be entered. Receipts for any donations starting today done through Bonnie’s tip jar (top left) can be emailed to me for entry. (jennifer AT injennifershead DOT com)
Prizes will include the generously donated uterus and lyme plushes that starred in our re-enactment. Big thanks again to IHeartGuts and GiantMicrobes. In addition to monetary donations straight to Bonnie, I am also accepting donations of additional prizes to be added to the raffle(s). Hit me up on that same email.
Raffle tickets will start at $5 for the plushes. Other prizes/prices to be determined.
Via Dustbury, I learned that Prancercise is a thing.
And so we will check with Equestria’s authority on cool, Rainbow Dash
rainbow dash fly gif by ~amberoffire on deviantART
She does not appear to be amused.
Scene: A lovely afternoon sitting out on the deck
TeenBot: I should build Lego Tardises
EvylRobot: Would it be Tardises or Tardisi?
TeenBot: Hmm
Me: TARDIS’s because it’s an acronym. Time And Relative Dimension In Space.
EvylRobot: You’re right
TeenBot: How do you remember that?
Me: I’m a nerd
And yet, I can’t for the life of me remember where I put that book of stamps…
Each and every one of them. Didn’t even require a reload.
This girl was reading names of people who have been killed with guns. Those killed via other means are not mentioned. Couldn’t tell if the guy in green shorts was with them or not.
Here’s another angle. The guy in the suit was definitely not with the protest. He appeared to be attempting a debate. So if we give them green short guy, we’ve got 4 people so far.
Hmm. Here’s green shorts again. Hard to tell if this group is part of the protest, but let’s be generous and move the count up to 5. I’m not counting the kid in the stroller.
So I stepped back and went for a long range shot. Ended up shooting several bystanders that were doing nothing other than passing through. Wrong place, wrong time, I suppose.
Must be the fault of my high capacity SD card in my camera.
Even my antibiotic is a 45.
I reuse the Chinese take out containers. I mean why not? It’s like the bonus that comes with your food. It’s the boring grown-up version of the toy you could have once you finished your Happy Meal. Why else would they be dishwasher safe?
Except, I think ‘Microwave Safe’ means something different in China.
Or maybe that was just for the lid. So I checked.
Huh, I had no idea that ‘Microwave Safe’ was Chinese for ‘burn down the break room.’ Learn something new everyday.
When you see flames, you know your lunch is ready! Never mind the smoke and coughing co-workers. Nothing like the smell of burning plastic to whet your appetite. To the internet and beyond!
Oh those crazy Chinese with their lead laced children’s toys and toxic fume emitting to go boxes.
A Gotham City lawmaker has announced a nation wide initiative to force criminals to buy liability insurance or face a $10,000 fine.
The Crime Risk Protection Act, pushed by Rep. Dewey Cheatum and seven co-sponsors, follows efforts at the state level to create the ground-breaking new kind of insurance for criminals.
“For too long, victims and society at large have borne the brunt of the costs of crime,” Cheatum said in a written statement, “My bill would change that by shifting some of that cost back onto those who commit crimes.”
The Crime Risk Protection Act would require everyone from two-bit criminals and gang-bangers to mass murderers, embezzlers, and members of Congress to purchase liability insurance prior to victimizing the innocent.
Opponents have questioned the efficacy of the proposal.
“This proposal is unenforceable.” said Rep. Warren Peace in our exclusive interview. “Criminals are already defying the law. The threat of a fine is not going to dissuade them. My colleague has failed to answer the Constitutional questions related to this bill. Requiring criminals to implicate themselves prior to the commission of a crime flies in the face of fifth amendment protections.”
Cheatum says he will not give up.
“We have a long history of requiring insurance for high-risk products — and no one disputes that criminals are dangerous,” he said in his written statement. “While many individual states are debating this issue right now, it makes more sense for Congress to establish a national requirement to allow the insurance markets to begin to price the risks involved consistently nationwide.”
Cheatum also supports proposed bans on assault weapons and high capacity ammunition clipazines.
–Yes, it’s satire. Click on over to Jay’s place for the story.