‘Cause I didn’t. I didn’t even leave the house. But I had a pretty interesting dream last night and was hoping maybe one of you had gotten in on that deal.
So, I was an agent with some clandestine super secret squirrel organization. I was assigned to the night shift protecting some guy that lived way off the grid. The client was a paranoid nut job, but he was important to my employer. He was supposed to be some kind of genius and knew something no one else knew. He’d reported a stalking/threat type situation and so I was assigned babysitting duty.
He lived in a cabin deep in the woods with a giant black dog. Think mastiff sized. The client suffered from chronic insomnia brought on by his fear of this stalker, and so rather than sleep at night, he would sit in the front room of the cabin and talk to me. This went on for several nights. I would patiently listen while scratching behind the giant dog’s ears. Sometimes I’d bring the dog treats.
The client described his stalked as a man in sunglasses, a black hat, and pointy toed boots. The client still saw the man outside the cabin on many nights. I never did, but the dog would often growl in the direction the client said the man had been. Nothing ever triggered the motion lights I had set up on the perimeter, but the client assured me that the man was purest evil and was coming for him one day.
He didn’t only tell me about his stalker though. Some nights he would regale me with stories of his own secret spy days and his research. We developed quite the rapport. I thought of him less like a client and more like a distant uncle with nuggets of wisdom that would slip out in between the rambling of a dementia addled mind. I rather enjoyed his company. The dog would often snuggle up beside me on the sofa.
Having nothing better to do, I picked up some scraps from the butcher shop and headed out to the man’s shack early one night. Only to find that the normally well-behaved pooch had attacked the day shift agent. I couldn’t just call an ambulance because the man’s location was top-secret. But the man assured me that he would be fine while I rushed the other agent to help just as long as I returned before dark.
I returned at dusk to find the cabin burned to ground and the giant black dog was dead. Standing in the ashes was my client, wearing dark sunglasses, a black hat, and pointy toed boots. He was the stalker. The evil was inside him and had taken him over while I was gone.
That’s it. All I got.