37 Trips Around the Sun

Complete with an obligatory birthday selfie.


I’m not going to lie about my age. I have taken every single one of those trips around the sun. Not everyone gets as many, and I hope to have many more. Besides, I’d much rather look damn good for 37 than to tell anyone I’m 29 and have them think those must have been some rough trips.

Because It Feels Like Something

I’m going to quote myself in full with only minor changes because it still applies

Gun Control, Because It Feels Like Doing Something

No one wants to feel powerless, helpless, hopeless.  We are all so horrified by the events in CT OR that we’re devouring information and trying to answer the question of why. We just can’t accept that we just don’t know.

We don’t know why the shooter succumbed to the darkness.  Why he targeted innocent children.people.  All we know is that he did.  And it hurts.  It shakes us to our very core. We don’t want to acknowledge that the darkness lurks in everyone.  We want to push it to some outside force.  He can’t be like us. Surely my darkness couldn’t ever look like that.

It must be the video games, the mental health issues, the loneliness, the gun.  Right? Please let it be something definable. Something we can tie to the stake in the funeral pyre. Anything other than the evil that lurks in the hearts of men. No. Something must be done! We must have a culprit at which to direct our pain, our confusion, our sorrow, our rage.

For the children.

Guns are the easy scapegoat for the simple-minded.  Never mind the fact that not one single gun restriction has ever reduced violence.  Never mind the fact that as gun ownership has increased, violent crime has decreased.  Yes, I know.  Correlation does not equal causation, but causation requires correlation.  Therefore, the claim that more guns cause more crime is demonstrably false.

But history, logic, and facts have no place in an emotional argument.We must Do Something.  It doesn’t really matter whether or not it’s the right something.  It doesn’t matter whether or not the something saves a single life.  It doesn’t even matter if we’ve tried it before only to fail.  It must be done, and it must be done now. Now, so we can stop staring into the evil.  The something must distract us from the darkness. The darkness hurts.  It’s frightening.  The something feels better, warmer, brighter.

And it continues to leave our children defenseless. Not just our children, but us as well.  I have never committed an act of violence, and yet the something would confiscate much of my property and leave me with only harsh words to fend off the rapist twice my size that is overwhelmed by his darkness.  I’m a well-trained vocalist with a lot of voice, but I’d rather have a proven equalizer for that battle.

I reject the something.  Even if it means I must stare into the darkness with no security blanket.  I accept the fact that human beings are capable of unspeakable evil, and that we must each chose for ourselves whether or not we embrace our own darkness.  I acknowledge that most chose to keep their demons at bay. For those that do not, we need more than harsh words, empty platitudes, and regulations to protect ourselves and those we care about.  My gun is no security blanket.  It is not a talisman warding off evil.  It is a tool. It is the tool with the best track record of putting an end to the evil actions of others.

I don’t want to feel like your children and mine are safe.  I want them to be safe.

Fantasy Island, Where Dreams Really Do Come True

Saturday, EvylRobot and I made the questionable decision to head down to a particular flea market that we don’t generally frequent. It’s not exactly in our normal stomping grounds. One of the establishments we pass between here and there in a nightclub known as Fantasy Island.

Overheard in the car:

ER: That doesn’t really look like much of a fantasy

Me: Well, unless your idea of a fantasy includes syphilis.

ER: *snicker*

And so you can imagine my giggles when this story popped up as breaking news.

Last week, a task force raided Fantasy Island and wrote more than 20 citations ranging from possession of firearms to illicit sexual conduct.

Nice place, there.

Goodbye? Perhaps

Edited to add: 2nd place and no one died!

I’ve officially lost my mind and may have to call in dead on Monday.

That’s the message I just sent my boss. Yes, he was just as confused as you are.

You see, I just registered for a 5K.

I don’t run.

It’s taking place tomorrow.

There’s a decal.


Have I mentioned that I don’t run? Ok, there was the one time with the silver medal*.


But it’s for a good cause. You can support my madness here.

You’ll find my body somewhere near Lake Hefner. It has been a while since I’ve made an entry into the injuries category.

*I found the medal. I’ll add a picture later.

Chick-fil-A Tried to Kill Me

This has gone too far. The swan song of the hate chicken has finally hit a sour note.

How dare you attempt to poison me! And with a silent migraine, no less. We’ve gotten along just fine for all this time, but I go to one Pride Blockparty. Coincidence? I think not.


The nerve. The blatant bigotry of completely ignoring my unique food allergy that I failed to inform you about! Putting delicious mandarin oranges in the fruit cup! Monstrous.

I am THE VICTIM here! Nevermind that you clearly display the presence of those diabolical spheres of swelling and misery in your menu photo. #citrusprivilege

I didn’t even eat them. I stabbed them with my fork and put them aside. But it was already too late. You didn’t even warn me that stabbing oranges may spread their juices indiscriminately across the strawberries and blueberries. Typical. So patriarchy. Did the melons consent to being sprayed with those fluids? Please.

Someone fund my pain and suffering!! I will not be satisfied until I have my own clothing line and reality show!

Yes, I’m kidding. I know I’m allergic. I know they put oranges in the fruit cup. I should have been smart enough to realize that removing the offending wedges by stabbing them with my fork was maybe not the brightest idea. Or just had the waffle fries.

On Being Nice

Recently, a friend shared this story over on the book of face

Today at <restaurant> while <child’s name> and I were eating a man started talking to <child’s name> about his stuffed animal.

Man: that’s an unusual dog. ( it’s a teddy bear)
Child: [looks at man. Does not respond]
Man: you aren’t gonna talk to me ??
Child: [looks away]
Me: no he isn’t .

A. You are a stranger . My son is not being “rude,” and there is no reason for him to discuss or chat with you .
B. We teach kids not to talk to strangers. Social niceties are not necessarily a good practice for kids
C. ‪#‎sorrynotsorry‬

Bravo, I say!

But, of course, there was dissent, this is the internet, after all. One commenter lamented that it was “sad” that she was “creating unnecessary fear” in her child. Another tried to make the argument that it wasn’t a threatening situation. Another implied that she was teaching her son to be rude and disrespectful.

All because she supported her son’s choice not to speak to a stranger. This is insanity.

As a society, we’ve developed this warped idea that not nice=rude. There’s space between. He was not impolite, and he was not rude. He has absolutely no responsibility to be nice. He should be, and I assume he is, kind where warranted, but he doesn’t have to be nice. 

No one has the responsibility to be nice. You do not have to speak to the stranger in the parking lot that just needs a bit of change, or gas money, or…Well, really that stranger just wanted to get close enough to grab your wallet or steal your car. Or worse.

Because of course you should be nice to the young man that wants to sit in on your Bible study.

Sure, she was right there. The risk potential of that situation was minimal, but what kind of lesson does that teach her child? If Mom encourages him to be nice to the stranger in the restaurant, how should he react to the stranger in the bathroom? As a parent, you have to think beyond the moment. You must model the skill set so your child can make appropriate decisions in the future.

My friend pointed out that later, her son approached the cashier and politely requested a refill of his beverage. This doesn’t sound like he’s being crushed by unnecessary fear of people. Instead, he is learning an appropriate level of caution.

Living in a polite society does not mean that you must be nice to strangers. Of course, one should not be rude, impolite, or unkind, but that does not mean you owe it to anyone to be nice.





An Open Letter to the Duggar Daughters

I’m so very sorry this happened to you. That your trust and physical autonomy was violated by someone so close to you. It should never have happened, and no matter what anyone tells you, it was not your fault. It is something that happened to you, and despite the harm done, it does not have to define you. The guilt is not yours to carry in any fashion.

It’s okay to be angry about it. The news says that your brother asked for and received your forgiveness, and I hope that is true. Really and fully true. I hope that he came to you with humility and remorse and that you granted him your forgiveness out of a desire to release yourself from the anger, and not to save the very public face of your family. Your forgiveness does not excuse his actions, but it does release you of the burden.

You are not broken. You likely carry scars and sometimes they will flare up. I’m sure having your story broadcast to the world has reopened your trauma. I’m sorry for that too. Mostly, I’m so very sorry that your brother inflicted that trauma in the first place.

It breaks my heart to see your parents rallying behind your abuser with nary a mention of you. I’m sorry that your parents turned your lives into such a circus and present their faith as a grotesque caricature of Christianity. You deserve the support and protection right now. Just as you deserved it back then.

Unfortunately, yes, bad things happen even in good Christian households. Families participate in denial and cover-ups. It’s not because they are Christian; it’s because they are human. People without sin have no need of salvation. I hope this has not shaken your faith. It was your brother, not God, that let you down.

I want you to know there are people out there praying for and supporting you. That you are not alone.