No Sweetie, He Doesn’t Like You Because You’re a Bitch

I’m starting to think maybe ‘minefield Fridays’ should be a regular feature around here. It’s good for traffic, anyway. And I am an evil capitalist, after all. (Oh look! Ads n’stuff over there to the right. That’s an Amazon affiliate link too.)

Captain Capitalism has a couple of posts up today that I would like to highlight. The first is the story of Quin Pu. A lovely young girl that acted out after her latest romantic interest dumped her after just two dates. The nerve! He’s obviously ignored all of her glorious qualities like writing a blog and having tow published books. He was clearly trying to ruin her 26th birthday and didn’t dump her because she was the kind of level-headed mature woman that would proceed to forward his sexts to his employer.

You know, because that’s the reasonable response.

Surely he didn’t dump her because she’s a narcissistic bitch that has written not one, but two self-published auto-biographies by the age of 25.(Hmm, who else do we know that wrote two auto-biographies before having anything in life worth writing about?) Couldn’t possibly be because he sensed the oncoming petty drama that is her life and wanted off that ride.

Nah! Obviously a chauvinist that needs to be taught a lesson.

Quin, sweetie, you are a self-centered princess. The sooner you figure out that you are not entitled to the attentions of men, the better. Set your mirror down for a minute. The world does not revolve around you.

Which brings us to a story that Dustbury pointed out a week ago. This one is the story of Kate Mulvey, who is apparently too cleaver to keep a man.

For me, this is stating the blindingly obvious. I’ve lost count of the times men have rejected or insulted me simply because I was brighter, wittier or cleverer than they are.

They have called me ‘intimidating’, ‘scary’, ‘difficult’ and ‘opinionated’. Translated, that means: ‘You are too clever and I don’t like it.’

Right. Because it’s got nothing to do with the fact that you’re a condescending bitch.  You know, if you were half as clever as you think you are, you’d realize that it’s just plain rude to flaunt your perceived superiority and belittle your date. They aren’t dumping you because of your mind, they are dumping you because of your caustic personality. I promise you, you are not smarter than every man out there. It’s just that those men are smart enough not to date a self-important, narcissistic bitch. You see, intelligent, confident women don’t need to wear their superiority like some kind of show-girl’s headdress. Nor do they need to tear people down to feel better about themselves.

Women like these are why some men are checking out of the game. (That’s the other Cappy Cap post.) Can you blame them, really?

Yes, there are chauvinistic boys out there pretending to be men. These boys deserve to be ignored and even ridiculed when necessary. But the fact that they exist is no excuse to be a self-centered bitch. Playing petty games just lowers you.

You want a high quality man? Be a high quality woman. The reverse also applies. No one is looking at your resume or your IQ score. This is talking about who you are. If you are super awesome, I’m going to make the assumption that anyone worth your time is super awesome as well and maybe once in a while you should notice that.

You know, I think my husband is great. And he married me, so he must think I’m pretty alright too.

Join me next Friday for another venture into the minefield! Maybe I’ll talk about body types/issues again.

“Where Have All The Good Men Gone?”

It’s a lament I hear from so many of my contemporaries and younger that cannot find a date.

You really want to know? For one, why are you asking me? I’ve been out of the dating scene for over 15 years. My insight comes from watching you people fumble through it. But since you asked, I suppose I’ll give it a shot. If you don’t really care what I have to say about the matter, I’ll have something more to your liking up later. Feel free to go look at cat pictures while you wait.

Still here? Well here goes then.

If they are still single and smart, they are hanging out with older women because they are more fun. The whole entitled feminist shtick has driven them away.

Sorry sweetheart, you don’t get to have it all. You really think he’s going to keep buying all those drinks and dinners while you prattle on about the inherent misogyny of society? Or the patriarchy? That’s a great way to score yourself your very own beta male.

Congratulations. If you’re lucky, he might lick enough boots to make middle management one day.

That alpha male you’re pining for is probably tired of playing the game. Blame the rabid feminists and empty-headed sociology majors. The womyns studies professor lied to you. Want to impress him with how ‘independent’ and ’empowered’ you are? Buy him a drink. And then have a real conversation. If you are interesting and engaging, there’s a good chance he’ll get the next one. Treat him with respect and you might just get a second date. Be a lady, and treat him like a man. Be flattered, not insulted, when he wants to get the door for you and walk you to your car*.

Or maybe you really don’t need a man in your life. That’s completely valid. Just stop telling me how much you don’t need one while complaining that you can’t find a decent one. I know, you’re tired of playing the game too. All I can say is that they are still out there, if you want to find them**.

*They are the minority, but there are creeps and predators out there. There is a difference between being polite and being stupid. Don’t put yourself in a bad situation either.

**Goes both ways. Guys, there are high quality women out there too.  They’ve gotten just as tired of the games people play.