Update on Stuff

A long time ago, I was a victim.  Yesterday, he threatened my family.  I had never told anyone that he had molested me when I was child. Now, my husband knows, my parents know, my in-laws know, and anyone else that needs to know will soon know.  I have set that ball in motion.  And I am free.

I decided that it wasn’t my shame to carry so I gave it back.  Now that I have opened it up, I know that I have scars to deal with.  That’s okay. There is no shame in being a victim.  Particularly if you were a helpless one.  That is a burden that I will not carry any longer.  He can have it.  I also will not allow my silence to put anyone else at risk.  I will not be silent any more.

The person in question has innocent children.  Out of respect for them, I will not divulge any more details here.  I will be doing what I can to make sure they are protected and safe.  Hopefully, by breaking my silence, they will not be victims.  I will not be backed into a corner by a child molester.  He will not have any power over my family.

19 thoughts on “Update on Stuff”

  1. I can’t say anything trite like I know how you feel, or I understand.

    All I can say is I admire your courage and bravery in this, for yourself and others.

    Well done miss.

  2. (((hugs))) I’m so sorry that happened to you, but good for you for breaking the silence. You’re right… it’s not your shame. I was about your age when I finally told that my grandfather molested me from before I can remember until I was about 10. If you ever need the ear of someone who’s been through it, I’d be glad to listen.

  3. You are right, there is no shame in being victimized…especially when so young and vulnerable and I echo the sentiments of admiration for your courage.

    Your story is not as unique as you might think. You’re not alone so don’t hesitate to reach out for any help that you might need or want.

  4. You’ll be in our prayers for awhile, Jen. Both the wifey and myself were victimized as children. I only told my parents about a year ago, I was 28 when I finally told them.

    I’ll say this, although I suspect you already know, you need to be very, very cautious right now. A predator’s former victim, even if he hasn’t seen them in years, who he can no longer victimize will become his top priority. Even if he hasn’t seen of thought about you in years, if he knows you’re now willing to fight back, it’s a threat to his sense of power.

    I damn near killed my former abuser when I ran into him on leave. Seeing me as an adult, and a large, well trained one at that, he immediately tried to dominate me emotionally, and shortly after, physically.

    Please, both of you, be very, very careful. If at all possible, get a restraining order. We all know how much good it will do, but it can make dealing with law enforcement much easier.

  5. Speaking power to evil.

    Liberation is contagious, and I hope your example causes others to break free as well.


  6. My wife was raped at the age of six.

    She knows the regaining of power when one speaks out. No more secrets!

    They are an insidous lot, child rapists. They rear the light.

    Do all you can to shine it.

    Knowing how they can be, arms and wisdom go hand in hand, along with all the trappings.

  7. Another thought.

    The threats etc remind me of an out of control government that, once exposed, feels it must stop the ‘threat’. It treats us like an infection, when , in fact, IT is the infection. Perverse indeed.

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