Friday Fluff: Christmas Displays

I’m sure you’ve all seen this one


You know he’s in the spirit.

And then there’s this

Peeing Santa
Peeing Santa

When you gotta go, you gotta go.

Every once in a while, you find a decoration that is downright creepy.

Santa toilet cover
Santa toilet cover

Why?  Do you have some sick fantasy about sitting on Santa’s face?  Must you announce that to your guests?  And the INTERNET!?  Really?  I just know that I don’t want to see the rest of this house.

And then, there’s commercial window paintings.  This one is from my local grocery store.  Yeah, I stopped in the parking lot and whipped out my camera phone just for your entertainment.  This was taken the day before Thanksgiving, and remarkably, no one tried to run me over.  The things I do to entertain the internet.

TarSanta...err...Santazan...Captain CAAAAAAAVE Elf!!!

“Me Santa, you shopper.”  The last words you will hear before being smacked over the head with a giant candy cane.  Visions of sugar plums and all.

I love the ‘come hither’ look on his face.  It’s like he wants to sweep you up in his horribly deformed arms.  Just look at the bulging biceps and stick like forearms.  He’s bribing you with the amazing levitating gift card.  And the thumb of his left hand…  Yikes!  Maybe I should return to my local grocer with a big black CENSORED sign.  This is a family friendly establishment.  You know, the kind where the customers don’t run over girls with cell phones in the parking lot.

There is a similarly burly elf gracing the windows near the west doors.  Thankfully, we’ve not been subjected to Bruce Hall’s version of Mrs. Claus.

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