Assault Stilettos

Clearly, these assault weapons shoes have gotten out of control.  Here we have yet another innocent victim of rampant gun heel violence.

Police said the stiletto penetrated the eye socket and touched the victim’s brain.

Something must be done.  We can no longer tolerate these dangerous things on the streets.  Civilians have no sporting stylish use for such things.  They should only be available to the military and police dancers and models who receive special training.  There is no benefit to the general public.  In fact, statistics show that gun owners heel wearers are far more likely to suffer injury related to the use of such things.  In fact, just handling a firearm seeing a woman in 3″ heels raises the testosterone levels of most men.  Testosterone is directly linked to aggressive behavior.

I am a gun owner heel wearer myself, and I understand the inherent danger.  I’ve been through modeling school and practice regularly.  Anything beyond 10-rounds 2 inches should only be in on the hands feet of professionals.

6 thoughts on “Assault Stilettos”

  1. Anything beyond 10-rounds 2 inches should only be in on the hands feet of professionals.

    What if I am most comfortable in 2 1/2-3″ heels? Does that automatically qualify me as a professional? What about shooting guns in 4″ heels? That’s got to count for something, right?

    Oddly, I’ve been repeatedly told that my heels will get in the way of shooting decent scores at silhouette. The last two times I’ve shot wearing completely flat shoes – sneakers or work boots – I’ve done horribly. In fact, I’ve shot my lowest scores. In heels, I do just about on par with anyone who started out at my level.

    1. I love shooting in heels. It’s what I am inevitably wearing anyway so I figure I should practice like I dress. I even took my defensive shotgun class in 3″ heels. Out shot most the guys too. I’ve been told they would screw up my shooting too. Those people are wrong. You are generally most stable in what you wear most often.

  2. In learning theory, we say that one must perform in the same state in which one learned. So, learn in heels, perform best in heels. No matter what it is one is performing. 🙂

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