with Bruce Willis and explosions.
What, you thought I’d watch some sappy man is an idiot that only falls of the good graces of some smart sexy woman movie? Snore! The day I swoon for the likes of Hugh Grant is the day I dawn Crocs and a Snuggie as preferred evening wear.
And so we rented Surrogates. Didn’t actually have a clue about the plot. This is what happens when you don’t actually watch television and see things like previews. But there was a preview for it on another movie that we had rented. I caught that there was the ever handsome bald-headed Bruce Willis and explosions. Sounds like a winner to me! If Bruce Willis is in it, you can pretty much guarantee you aren’t going to get some wussed out pansy male lead. He’s the antithesis of Hugh Grant. (He’s even manly in Story of Us even though there aren’t any explosions.)
**************Spoiler Warning. I’m going to give away some plot blow this line.**********************************
In reading the back of the disc case, I learned that it’s the anti-Avatar. Everyone has taken to experiencing the world through surrogates, leaving their real bodies languishing in a chair at home. Everything is perfect. you can do whatever you want with no risk of illness or injury.
Until, of course, you can’t.
So we enter a world where everyone is a robot. And an overly attractive couple get zapped by a guy on a motorcycle. The FBI is called in to investigate. A Ken-doll looking Bruce Willis learns that the zapper kills the person back in their chair and not just the robot body.
There’s a helicopter crash into a human-only compound. Our hero gets zapped and narrowly escapes death. His creepy Ken-doll surrogate is crucified. Sans arm. He lost that in the helicopter crash.
And things are far more convoluted than they appear. Wouldn’t be much of movie otherwise. Our hero unravels unravels it all while trying to reconnect with his wife. The real one, not the surrogate version. Turns out that she basically shut down mentally after some tragedy involving their son.
After finding out the mastermind behind the plot to kill everyone behind a surrogate, our hero temporarily becomes his female partner to save the world seconds before everyone’s brain is fried. Surrogates everywhere are shut down. He saves the world to get his wife back. Told you it was romantic.
Explosions, people jumping on cars, robots, and romance. My kind of Valentine’s Day movie.