If You Need Me, I’ll Be In The Gym

Can I have a retry on today?


‘Cause um, it has not been the kind of day that makes a girl feel good about herself.  Just saying.

I stepped on the scale this morning and it read…substantially different than the last time I bothered to look.

Blew it off as a fluke.  Either today’s reading was bad or the former was wrong.  Either way, my jeans fit the same so it’s not a big deal.  Right?

Um.  I had to buy new jeans on my lunch break today.  The new pair is cute but unplanned.  I sat down in the car to head out to lunch and it was suddenly…breezy.

Yes, all of you that come here looking for ‘Jennifer’s Ass’ will be pleased to know that it tried to escape today.  (Seriously people, I’m going to adopt a donkey just so I can give you regular updates about my ass.)

So I had a spontaneous shopping trip on my lunch break today.  I know, all the cool kids are wearing their jeans that way on purpose, but I can’t just let my ass escape like that.  I have readers to think about.  So the jeans were replaced with a pair in the same size, different brand, stretch denim. Unfortunately this means I must retire my made in the US pair in favor of a pair made in China.

At least I can remind myself that I’m smarter than this woman.  And this one.  Even though I do like cheese.  Hence the escaping ass problem.

So if you’ll excuse me, there’s a treadmill mocking me from upstairs.

3 thoughts on “If You Need Me, I’ll Be In The Gym”

  1. nothing quite ruins a good day faster, then blowing out your pants. Did it once at a work-site, thankfully it was a hospital and they gave me scrubs to cover up with until i could get a new pair of pants, now i carry a spare pair in the car.


    twice. in the span of a week. I blame the pants, though – Pac Sun’s jeans were thin back in the late 90s when I was buying them. still, it’s not much fun to have one’s coworkers – all of whom were male auto technicians – gawking, pointing, and tossing catcalls in the direction of the overly breezy buttocks.

    in other words, I feel your pain.

  3. From what I can see, all you have to do with those jeans is rip up the knees and take some sandpaper to the thighs, and you will have your very own pair of…(drumroll please)

    Stylish jeans!

    I’ve seen jeans for sale with holes there and other places.

    Bad part is people were paying upwards of 50 bucks for them

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