Friday Fluff: Weird Crime and Stupid Criminals

Maybe it’s due to the seasonal change, but it seems there have been a lot of odd crimes lately.

First up, we have a man that went on a stabbing spree in the grocery store to protest eating meat.  He was upset at his grandmother…for cooking a pot roast.  So he did the only rational thing and decided to take it out on the meat department.  No, not the butchers or even the customers.  He attacked the meat.  Because killing pieces of already dead animals really brings your message home.

And speaking of grocery store violence, police shoot, kill ax toting man at a grocery store.  Prior to threatening the officers with an ax, he was just hanging out stabbing himself and telling an employee that he “killed people.”  No word on whether or not he was upset with the produce section.

And we’ve got a fake FBI agent hiring her neighbors to do clerical work.    Playing make-believe is one thing, but delegating out the tedium of your fantasy is taking it a bit far.  Have to wonder about the neighbors that fell for it.

Then there is the tale of the insurance agent that went back to rob his customer.  Seems like a decent gig.  Find out all about a guy’s assets and then come back with a gun.  Got the casing part down.  But generally, you shouldn’t wait in the car while your mark goes into the bank to withdraw the money.

But this one has to be my favorite.  It’s got everything.  A police chase.  A fleeing suspect.  And what even looks like a clean getaway.  The suspect dashes from his vehicle and jumps a fence to safety.  The safety of the prison yard.  I have this mental image of the guy getting over the fence and looking back at the officers ready to deliver some version of “you’ll never take me alive!”  The officers double over in laughter as the prison guards approach from behind.

3 thoughts on “Friday Fluff: Weird Crime and Stupid Criminals”

  1. And one that did not involve police. OK, it was inadvertent anyway, but technically illegal – possibly a felony – good for a chuckle if not a laugh:

    Oops!

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