Dance, Monkey!

Dear Hollywood celebrities,

You exist for my entertainment.  Some of you are great eye candy.  Some of you can deliver a line with such conviction that you bring tears to my eyes.  Some of you can scare the crap out of me.  Others make me laugh.  But you all have one thing in common, you only have a place in my world to entertain me.  That’s it.

You make your living pretending to be someone else.  Playing dress up like a retard*.  You live in a make believe world in front of a camera.  And often when you are away from one too.  Your entire existence depends on my patronage.

I’ll crank the organ grinder; you dance.

I don’t really care where you stand on issues.  Honestly, your stance matters far less to me than that of my neighbor.  You see, you aren’t real.  I turn off my TV or shut down my computer and you cease to exist in my world.  Once I am done with you, I can put you back in your little box until I want you to entertain me again.

I don’t care that you think the BP executives deserve the death penalty.  But I bet you looked cute saying it.

And you?  Really?  I’m supposed to care what the director of fluffy tripe made for gullible people thinks of those who realize global warming is a scam?  Get back into your bubble.  I’ll let you know when I’m in the mood for something blue and shiny.

Make me laugh, or cry.  Scare me.  But realize that the only words of yours that matter are scripted.  I might agree with some of you from time to time, but it doesn’t matter.  In my world, you exist solely for my entertainment.

So, shut your pie hole and dance, monkey!

*that’s a reference to a quote and not a commentary on the mentally impaired.  I’d never use that term for someone who didn’t choose to be mentally impaired.  But some people make the choice to not use their mental faculties and are voluntarily slow.  For those, the term is appropriate.

–and after all the linky (thanks Ambulance Driver, AEPilotJimFirehand, LawDog, and Borepatch) I realize there was a glaring lack of comma.


53 thoughts on “Dance, Monkey!”

  1. I figure you may know Jennifer, but this post has been given new life w/the 2016 elections and actors saying they’ll move to Canada. Just google your classic final line. :))
    I sought out the source though and just wanted to say – damn fine piece of prose, now reaching a ton more people – congrats!

  2. Yeah I want to take advice on choosing the people who will be deciding how much I will be taxed and how much of my money will be given to other people from people who get paid MILLIONS of dollars standing in front of a camera and pretending. MILLIONAIRES who haven’t put in an honest day of work their entire lives. Friggen famous pukes.

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