Oh Compulsive Email Forwarder!

Whatever would I do without the daily infusion of inspirational messages plastered across pictures of kittens and rainbows?  How would I know about the latest poorly formatted injustice without you?  Your communications are a virtual cornucopia of data mine-able email addresses ripe for the picking.

Oh the years of bad luck I’ve stacked up because of you.  And heaps of burning coals must be falling from my head because I’ve not forwarded your last message from heaven that came via your second cousin’s aunt’s hairdresser’s poodle groomer.  How will the women in my life know they’re amazing if I don’t send this heap of sparkling gifs hurtling at them through cyberspace?

The Comic Sans all caps solution for all our government ills sits languishing in my trash bin.  Along with the thoughtful card for me that didn’t actually attach in your forward.

But I see that I’m on the clock once again.  I have 20 minutes to tell 10 friends/family that I love them (including you) because I’m again being tested.

Will the delivered blessing help with the cramp in my scrolling finger?  Because that would really help me out right now.

ETA: If you are reading this, this is not you.

8 thoughts on “Oh Compulsive Email Forwarder!”

  1. My former SIL used to send every piece of crap that hit her Inbox through to a hundred other people. I usually just deleted them, but a few were so off-the-wall that I ran them through Snopes or other debunking sites. Then I sent the debunking info to her.

    Didn’t get the hint, and didn’t slow her down. So, finally, I took the bull by the horns and said “Please check this stuff out before you forward it to me.”

    Her response: “I don’t have time to be checking on all this stuff!”

    My response: “Do you think I, or the 100 other people you send this crap to, do?”

    She took me off her email list. 😎

  2. Heh. My wife’s aunt used to do that. Except she knows I’m interested in WW2 history, so she would forward every mass-mailing of the “an old Kodak Brownie camera was found in a steamer-trunk, containing undiscovered photos of Pearl Harbor bombing”. The typical photos that have been floating around since the mid-90’s. Including the photos from a Navy seaman who was out taking photos from all sides of the island during the bombing (instead of doing his duty AND FIGHTING BACK/FIGHTING FIRES/SAVING LIVES), plus a few shots from a passing Zero which was courteous enough to stop and pick up the seaman, who was stationed on a ship that, according to a quick 30-second Google search, didn’t have its keel laid until the next year. After about the dozenth time of replying to her using the same sarcastic response, she finally quit sending me the emails. Which was nice. Yeah. She’s a teacher, too.

  3. As a teacher I think it’s my job to educate folks about the misleading and downright incorrect emails sent my way. When I finally had enough, I began to ‘reply to all’ with a snip of the misleading info and then links and short snips of the true version, either from snopes or politifact. Only once have I received a venomous response, about how the “under God” was added to our pledge, it was not originally intended to be there. I now rarely receive much less of these emails and in fact I now get asked to check out information for people. Now that’s education! 🙂

  4. Oh my gosh! that was funny! I can SO relate! There is a lady that was in my Bible study last year, which consisted of about 75 women and she emails us all nightly with her forwards. NIGHTLY! I’m not exaggerating! I was out to dinner with four or five of my friends one night and our phones all went off at the same time because we all got her forward. The group leader even announced to the whole group once to not use our emails for forwards, but I guess she wasn’t listening. Oh well. I guess thats why there’s a delete button, right?

  5. Had one I finally just blocked. Wrote a rule that deleted it unread. I never got any personal email from them, and figured if I did, I would hear about from some else in the family any way. It’s been years.

  6. My cousin is retired and he must spend his entire day surfing the net for the crap he forwards to me. I keep telling him that unless it contains either humor or pretty girls (Yeah, I’m a guy. Sorry if it bothers anyone…) please stop forwarding it to me. Those darned travelogues with the inspirational music are the WORST.

    As for the typical urban legend… I’ve found that public humiliation works. If they don’t BCC me, and it’s an urban legend, I do a reply all with the correction. Eventually it gets through.

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