Screwed

I’ve been stewing over this all day.  Instinct sent it to me this morning, and it was on Hot Air.

Upon first read, my reaction was “Oh HELL no!” followed by a string of expletives.  The whole thing reminds me of an interchange between Sam and Gollum.  The part of Sam will be played by the conservative taxpayer and Gollum will be played by the money grabbing liberals.  My apologies to Tolkien.

Sam: I daresay, but where have you been to – taking money here and spreading it around there, you old villain?

Gollum: (withdrawing) Socialism, Socialism! Taxpayers always so polite, yes. O nice taxpayers! Sméagol rips them off in secret ways that nobody else could find. Tired he is, thirsty he is, yes thirsty; and he guides them and he searches for paths, and they say _socialist, socialist_. Very nice friends, O yes my precious, very nice.

Sam: Sorry. I’m sorry, but you startled me about my retirement. And I shouldn’t have been worried, and that made me a bit sharp. But Mr. Frodo. he’s that tired, I asked him to have a wink; and well, that’s how it is. Sorry. But where _have_ you been to?

Gollum: Socialism.

Gollum: (to himself) Tricksy taxpayers with their retirement.  Always wanting The Precious for themselves.  But ‘We Earns it!’ they say.  But its mine.  Oh yes, The Precious is all mine.  We are entitled to The Precious, the Social Secuity.  But we squandered it, SQUANDERED IT!”  *Gollum’s eyes dart from side to side* “But Gollum knows of more Precious.  Yes!  In the retirement accounts.

Sam: I knew it! (tackling Gollum)

Gollum: No!  The Fat One hurts us! Sméagol only wants to spread wealth around. Sméagol promises!  Sméagol is protecting The Precious!  Like with social security.  Sméagol would never tax the middle class.

Sam: Mr. Frodo’s been putting money in his 401K all his life.  The matching funds are all that is keeping the account going.  Sméagol promised he would always be taken care of.  Sméagol said he would protect him!

Gollum: Sméagol lied.

And that, my friends, is how it is.  Hell, I could be convinced to give up the pittance that is social security drop the money grabbing liberals into the fiery depths of Mordor.

4 thoughts on “Screwed”

  1. Thanks for reminding me: I need to put up my 5-minute lesson on “Why Communism Doesn’t Work.” It was a HIGHLY-effective way to get disinterested middle-schoolers to understand why socialist policies are only effective on paper. Really simple and easy to understand as well. The next day or two are going to be really busy, but I promise it’ll get posted well before the election!

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