OMG! He’s Got A Knife

Apparently, the Brits have forgotten that a knife is a tool. Daily Mail is just shocked! Shocked! I tell you that Steven Tyler carries a pocket knife.

Of course, they also call this guy hunky.

The hunky singer was spotted with a large Leatherman-style penknife strapped onto his bootcut jeans as her arrived for the day’s filming in Pasadena, California today.

Maybe the writer has a thing for large mouth bass.

The resemblance is uncanny.

Quite what Steven, 63, thought he would need such a large knife for is anyone’s guess, but no doubt Simon Cowell will be glad he is not still on the show after seeing these pictures.

Yes, because it is completely logical that Steven Tyler was planning to filet Simon Cowell with a 4-inch folding knife. Like he’d need to cut him up if he planned on eating him.

I know it seems completely unusual to the residents of the formerly great Britain, but people carry knives.  They are tools.  He probably carries it every day, it’s just normally in his pocket instead of clipped on the outside.  By the looks of those jeans, there’s nothing going into the pockets. And, Daily Mail, I could have lived my whole life without the close-up of that particular area of Steven Tyler in skin tight jeans.

Gotta barf, BRB

I love my readers too much to embed that particular image.  If you must see it, it’s in the article.

Maybe, there’s a fruit basket in his dressing room wrapped in cellophane and tied up with miles and miles of curling ribbon. It’s was easier to open those by just cutting the ribbon with your pocket knife.  Scary, I know.

Wait.

Full stop.

Did I just write an entire blog entry about Steven Tyler doing something normal and manly? Next thing you know, Clint Eastwood will be doing a reality show.

17 thoughts on “OMG! He’s Got A Knife”

  1. HA!
    This AM in our office I went to “assist” one of the gals with a box she was struggling to open.
    Out came the Benchmade and the box was open!!
    She looked at me and instead of saying “thank you”.
    I got “YOU CARRY THAT IN YOUR POCKET?”
    My diplomatic response was,”Yes, where the hell should I carry it?”
    Cripes…

  2. I wonder what sort of PSH they’d go through if we told them he’s also an avid collector of Title II firearms? He’s purchased full auto items from several dealers I know and I personally saw him shopping around at SAR West a few years back.

  3. Heh…I’ve carried a pocket knife since I was in High School (yeah, rebel that I am, carried a Swiss Army knife). Did some business at a bank with a hunting knife strapped on (forgot about it as I was heading out to go camping that weekend). Had both a pocket knife and a multi-tool on my bat-belt in the Navy (next to a case holding earplugs, my mini-Mag light, and the ever-present TLD {radiation meter} that no nuke was ever without) I feel nekkid without one. I still get the occasional odd look at a restaurant when I pull it out: those kiddy cups they bring for our daughter? Yeah…its about 6 inches high. The straw they stuff in it for her? About 12″ high. So I trim it down for her. On occasion, I’ll get a waiter/waitress who thinks that’s a great idea. Most just look at me wierd.

  4. They’re just freaking because it’s not a British no-stabby neutered knife. I am wondering what the heck way that is to carry a knife, but hey, to each their own.

  5. Just recently returned to college after 30 years.

    Had to sharpen a pencil. Pulled out 4 inch pocket knife and had it sharpened before anyone could offer me a “sharpener”. The looks on the faces of those kids! The teacher, an old fogy like me, just chuckled.

    After that, when someone asked for a pencil sharpener, I just offered my knife…..

  6. @cargo: I did that at church one night (work in the sound booth, running the video computer). Probably a half-dozen people watched me sharpen up a pencil while another two or three tried to get the old manual-crank sharpener put back together. The older guys (and gal) chuckled. The younger ones turned white. And the best part….I wasn’t struck by lightning from on high!

  7. Usually have three knives on me.
    None clipped to a pocket however, I don’t like that style of carry.

    I used to have a certain, grudging respect for the Brits… gone now these many years.

  8. Even more frightening, that’s a deadly switchblade knife! He can totally open it one handed to cut his rails of coke or mutilate children, just like those gang members!

    Erm, don’t ask how I recognize it.

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