Welfare Zombies

Sometimes I obsess about the SiteMeter stats and stuff.  I check the totals regularly and the referrals to see how people get here.  Today, I noticed someone happened by from a Google search for “welfare zombies.”  Well that’s interesting and so I did the search myself.  Guess who is number one!  All because of this post.

Times have changed a little since I wrote that one.  There are more zombies out there for you to be concerned about.

First we have zombie banks.  I wish I could claim credit for the tern, but I got it from the fabulous guys at HillBuzz.  These banks are the walking dead.  They should be dead, but they’ve been reanimated by an infusion of theoretical cash.  Look for these to implode under the new regime of hope and change.  Sparkley words are not enough to actually keep them walking.

We recently eliminated a zombie senator.  These can be identified by their lack of actual decision making.  The mindless votes cast are typically ‘present.’  We have been successful in removing one of these from the US Senate, but unfortunately we did it by electing him President. Research is underway on how to bring down a zombie president.  Thus far, he’s seems mostly impervious to corruption scandals and constitutional attacks.

Extreme caution must be taken in identifying zombie politicians.  Most were blood-sucking attorneys before becoming infected.  Their natural cannibalistic tendencies got them to the position of senator in the first place.  Although it may be tempting, you should refrain from severing the central nervous system of an uninfected senator.  (Unless, of course, there is an epidemic and the threat must be contained.)  Zombie senators can generally be identified by their desire to create more zombies.  They devour independence and create an ever-growing class of entitlement zombies.  There is strong evidence that the zombie infection is spreading in DC and may reach pandemic levels requiring quarantine and sanitization.

We also have union zombies.  These were once perfectly normal, productive individuals that have been promised more than they earn.  They become mindless drones punching a clock for a check.  They are no longer adding value to a corporation, but the union zombie overloads have tied the hands of the corporations.  Which brings us to another category of zombies.

Corporate zombies.  Unlike other undead, zombies are not immortal, but they don’t know that.  This is why they can fly in on a corporate jet with the idea that they are ‘too big to fail.’  With the infection spreading in DC, they find many willing zombie senators eager to increase their brood.

And of course, we have the ubiquitous entitlement zombie.  These are easily identified by the attitude of, “What is the government going to do for me.”

As we all know, zombies are destroyed by severing the central nervous system.  Cut off the head.  The research is ongoing, but it looks like DC is the source.  It may have started with Carter, but newer information seems to point to Roosevelt and his ‘New Deal.’  With talk of a New New Deal, expect for the problem of entitlement zombies to get much, much worse. DC is the head, but we must sever the connection by non-violent means.  Those that are not yet infected can be saved by listening to their constituencies, but we must give them a voice to listen to.

We cannot go taking out zombies until they actually threaten us.  At this time, it is prudent to continue to live among them and be prepared to defend yourself as needed.  Entitlement zombies will likely become violent when the entitlements run out, but we are not there yet.  The uninfected would be wise to prepare as you would for any disaster.  Maybe I’m a hopeless optimist, but I still believe we can beat the infection back to manageable levels.

One thought on “Welfare Zombies”

  1. so, i am starting the process of applying for assistance to afford my meds. while these programs are offered by the manufacturer, i am fairly certain it is only b/c of government mandate. am i therefore an entitlement zombie by definition or just overwhelmingly poor? would i be more noble if i ordered my meds from canada or worse for not just seeking assistance, but assistance based upon socialized medicine, another favorite of yours?

    i know you personally know i’m not saying this out of hostility, but i wanted to make sure i disclosed that to your readers. this is an honest question and your reply will recieve my utmost respect, even if i disagree in thought or action.

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