Me: I get to put out fires today!
EvylRobot: So how is that different from any other day?
Me: These are literal fires. The fire fighters are going to light them.
ER: Oh yeah! You’ve got fire training today.
Alas, a cold front has rolled in and the fire department has declared it unsafe to set our parking lot on fire today and hand extinguishers to high-heeled accounting types. Just another day at the office…
Fun fact, when you light a large pan of diesel on fire, there is a lot of smoke. Almost enough smoke to obscure the tears of Al Gore.