Common Ground In The Chili Wars

Finally, chili fans of the world can finally unite against a common enemy! At long last the question of beans or no beans can be put aside for all can agree that this is an abomination to all things chili.

Yes, friends.  Chili flavor Ramen is a thing that actually exists. And it is an unholy combination of taste and texture that not even the little packet of crushed red pepper from last week’s pizza can correct.

I know, red pepper dude.  I am perplexed too.

This is the type of fusion food that must never occur.

You have been warned.  Do not try this at home.  Or while toiling away at your desk. Unless you live in a dorm and use plastic crates for all your furniture needs, this should not be considered a viable meal option.

I spent my 30 cents so you don’t have to. For the love of culinary decency, spread the word.


10 thoughts on “Common Ground In The Chili Wars”

  1. Okay, firstly, as someone who gets paid to cook….
    Ow. The thought of how that came out is just painful.

    Secondly, you tagged this post as Attempts at humor and Food. Might I suggest a new category? Attempts at food.


  2. Too late, already tried it. And I agree, it’s an abomination. In the company’s defense I sent them an e-mail about it, and they did respond saying it not “Chili” like SW America likes, it Chili like SW Asians like.

    That threw me for a sec. Until I remembered a fellow cadet from Sri Lanka back in my Military school days, he made similar dishes with weird spices. He might like it but I certainly don’t.

    I’ll stick with Chicken, Beef and Shrimp noodles. I still can’t stand the Pork ones.
    Mark´s last blog post ..The Fiscal Cliff

  3. Got a lot of Chicken Ramen stashed away against “tougher” times….I’ve tried, and don’t have anything against, all of the other Ramen flavors (then again, I may have an advantage over normal human beings in this category), but I doubt Mrs.Alien will be up to trying this any time soon.
    RabidAlien´s last blog post ..I need a money tree

  4. Ramen are actually getting sort of expensive around here(80c or more), but my all-time favorites from when I ate a lot of noodles are still beef flavour, and curry flavour. Not that beef flavour tastes remotely like beef(or maybe it does taste like beef broth?)

  5. I’m a goon, so horrible foodstuffs are a staple. (Protip: crush up the package of ramen, mix with a can of chili, nuke. Let sit for a few minutes, the noodles will cook and you too can insult your entire GI tract.)

    I haven’t seen this particular flavour of ramen, and I expect I can better it by just shaking some store-brand chili powder into the mix, but I *have* experienced worse… much worse.

    A few years back, 7-11 tried out a new “spicy” (?) taquito (meat-ish fills in a rolled tortilla shell); I was given one for free as a taste-test.

    I really thought things like this were only used on death-row inmates who volunteer for the experiment.

    Can’t say what base taquito they used – probably the taco one, which is edible. But the next step was to infuse the entire thing with the same “flavour” as the worst bargain-basement “red-hot” burritos. At about 300% of any sane level.

    (Take a bottle of non-diet pop. Add sugar until there’s a good inch of undissolved muck at the bottom. Recap, shake well. When safe, drink. This is pretty close, in levels.)

    I’ve *never* had anything as horrible as that thing. Not even the milk-and-sake mix that, I was told afterwards, was only meant to be a display item.

    Just the memory kinda makes we want to wire-brush my tongue… :barf:

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