The incredibly late update! Sorry, there was flu. And drugs that weren’t the fun kind.
There’s a funny thing about working so hard to improve myself physically. I’ve found that I’ve learned things I never expected. Even though my goals are not nearly as steep as some other people that I know, the act of working towards them without seeing the strides I’d like gives me a much better understanding of the struggles of other people. It’s made me appreciate some of the blessings I’ve been given.
I’ve always been naturally small and never had to really do much to be that way. Sure, I’d like to be in better shape than I am in now, but I’m not large in any estimation. And at the beginning of this year, I was the biggest I had ever been. I don’t know anyone that thinks of a size 4 to 6 as large. I don’t carry weight gracefully though. My frame is nearly identical to my mother’s, so I’m aware of what that would look like.
But I really have no right to pass judgement on those that don’t have it so easy. I don’t know that they aren’t fighting a thyroid problem. I don’t know that they haven’t fought their weight since childhood. Maybe they’ve had a catastrophic illness. It’s not something that I have ever known. Not a challenge I’ve ever had to meet. And hopefully never will.
And it’s become very clear that the majority of people will make snap judgements about me too. I’m automatically judged as the skinny bitch in the gym. People don’t care that my mother had a thyroid problem and then last year had a breast cancer scare. They don’t know that my grandmother was diabetic. No one asks about the bad knees that every woman in my family is blessed with. People make the assumption that I work out mostly out of my own vanity. And certainly that is one of my reasons, but it isn’t the only one. It was likely the added weight that put my mother at risk for breast cancer. And her weight battle is at least partially because she had half of her thyroid removed when I was a kid. Maybe, if I can keep my metabolism functioning properly, I can avoid both of those problems. It certainly wouldn’t hurt to keep from over-burdening my already weak knees with extra weight. Maybe mine won’t have to be replaced with titanium and nylon in 20 years. It would be nice if I could keep the factory models.
And yeah, I like to wear nice clothing and look good in it. There is nothing wrong with that either. I also like to have the energy to take a hike if I want to. It’s not hard for me to get there, and I am thankfully for that luxury.
And so, without further adieu, here are the updates