Been There, Done That

There is no t-shirt. Only pain, brokenness, and scars that no one else can see.

I see the road ahead and know it all too well. It is littered with shards of glass and must be traveled on foot with no shoes. I know it because I’ve been down it. It does lead to an end, but you can’t see it from the beginning. Once the end is reached, you will swear with every fiber of your being to never even look at the road again. If you could, you’d burn it down.

But here I am. Wounds from a decade ago flayed open, asked to travel it again. Only this time, it’s not my journey. I am only the guide because I’ve been there, done that. I wish I didn’t know the way, but I do. I fumbled through with no one to show me the way. I can’t prevent the traps and snares. I can only tell you they are there, but at least that is something. You will not come away unscathed, but maybe, just maybe, by shining a light and guiding you through, you’ll have fewer scars than if you’d traveled in the dark.

At the very least, you will not be alone. It’s the least I can do. A debt of gratitude to be paid with interest. You did everything you could when I made my journey, but you had no idea where all it lead. Finishing is not a triumph, it’s survival.

My friend, I am so sorry. I would not wish this journey on an enemy. For you, I will stare once again into those fiery pits and do everything I can to see you through. For what it’s worth, I’m scared too.

For the rest of you that have no idea what I am talking about, it’s okay. You’ve your own paths, some beautiful, some not. I hope you walk none of them alone.

Edited to add: Several people have contacted me with assumptions. No, this has absolutely nothing to do with addiction. This is a very specific attack on a person’s life and not a consequence their choices. I know it because I was similarly targeted. Please do not paint me or my friend with that brush.

11 thoughts on “Been There, Done That”

  1. That sucks. Glad you’re there to help your friend. If your friend was there for you at that time, then your friend will know that having to travel down that road is no bar to being awesome. Your friend will only need to look at you to be able to tell that.

  2. I have a sinking feeling I know what you’re talking about. 🙁 Some things are impossible to forget, but they can be dealt with and used to make you stronger. You know this, and I hope you can teach her the necessary skills.

    You’re in my prayers…may God be with you both.

  3. At least your friend has someone to help. As you say, a difficult journey alone is tough. A friend does come into play especially when some so called “friends” scatter like cockroaches when they are truly needed.

  4. I have a pretty good idea of the journey. And its difficulty. It says much about what you are inside that you do not consider taking the “easy” way out. Because the “easy” way would mean that you could not live with yourself. I wish both of you a journey that, while it will not be easy, will be more bearable. And that it will come to a happy end for both of you.

  5. Good friends are hard to find… Good, *empathetic * friends are even more difficult. You are the latter. <3

    Also, being a guide for harsh life events when someone needs (and is ready for) the help is one of the greatest things people can to for each other. I try, but I'm crap at keeping up with folks. You don't have that disadvantage, thankfully.

  6. What you do with (or allow God to do in you because of) a devastating event in your life redeems it, and makes it worth having gone through.

  7. Prayers coming your way. Your friend is fortunate to have someone like you to lean on. Having someone who has “been there, done that,” so to speak, is a great blessing.

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