Real Women Are All Sizes, Even Skinny

I tossed the title of this post off in a comment to a friend on Facebook this morning. And although it is perfectly accurate, I wanted to dive into it more deeply. Yes, I’m jumping right into the minefield, so I’m going to attempt to tread lightly.

And really, it wasn’t what he said that gets under my skin. It’s things like this.

anorexic-500Guess what, it didn’t. They are all hot. This image is much better (and you should click on it because it came from a great post).

beauty

 

I’ve honestly been writing this post in my head for weeks, the FB conversation just inspired me to actually put it out there. I think it is wonderful to celebrate the very real beauty of average and larger bodies, but it is not okay to belittle smaller ones to do so.

I have certain beauty standards that I apply to myself and only to myself. I recently started getting back to the gym because, honestly, I felt fat. I’m not, never have been, but that is the lens as it applies to me. I feel most comfortable in my own skin when it’s no larger than a size 4*. I’m at my curviest** and most fit there. It’s what works for my particular frame and body type. It also happens to be where my husband finds me most attractive, and yes, that is important to me as well.

That would be an impossible standard for some and I hold no one other than myself to it. It would be absolutely ridiculous to expect someone of a wildly different body type to conform to the standards I have for myself. If your weight is adversely effecting your health or your happiness, do something about it. You have my encouragement and support.

Even if it was possible, it would deprive the world of their beauty. Because beautiful women come in all shapes and sizes. It would deprive me of their beauty. My standards are my definition of beauty for me. It is what it takes for me to find the person in the mirror beautiful. It is not what it takes for me to see another person as beautiful. Don’t ever let someone else’s standards tell you what makes the person in your mirror beautiful.

There are a lot of beautiful women in the images posted above. None of them look like me, and that is a beautiful thing.

*Dear jeans manufacturers, even at a size 4, my hips are wider than my waist and my butt is full and round. You know, like a woman. Relabeling jeans made for adolescent boys is not going to cut it. Also, I like to actually put things in my pockets so could you maybe make them more than an inch deep?

**Curvy does not equal fat; please stop using it that way.

 

46 thoughts on “Real Women Are All Sizes, Even Skinny”

  1. Amen, Jen

    My wife was never a “Twiggy” and we’ve been together 48 years.

    In “Guy Speak” it’s a Chevy vs Ford thing.

  2. I would not worry too much about you. You are perfect the way you are. I have been with beauty queens, slim skinny, they have a bad attitude. It seems from my experience, the prettier the girl is,………. the more crappy attitude they have. Don’t worry, you are a 10 . Beauty is also in the eye of the beholder.

  3. Sorry to be the one to break it to you but some women are beautiful and some aren’t. Which is which has nothing to do with what women think; it is men who determine which women are hot and which women are not – period. All the shaming about men preferring trim women over fatties and fuglies is not going to change this.

    1. This is absolutely correct, Evil Weasel. Women can call themselves whatever they want – pretty, sexy, hot, beautiful, fabulous, etc. – but at the end of the day the proof lies in the attention we give them. You don’t see the ugly or chubby girls landing the men with muscles, money, style or charisma. You don’t see guys lining up to buy drinks, or flowers or engagement rings for the fuglies. There may be an exception or two to the rule, but this is the way the world works and deep down women know it.

      As men, we know that we (along with the tangible and intangible things we provide) are status markers to women. We know that for all the paeans to “the sisterhood”, women are still fighting with each other over (the best of) us. Therefore, we bust our asses (becoming smarter, handsomer, richer) to offer the best deal we can, in hopes of getting the best (i.e. hottest) woman we can. If she has an ok personality, we’ll make the arrangement more permanent.

      The “every female body shape should be able to date every male body shape” meme is a silly and as disconnected from reality as the idea that a 7-eleven clerk should be paid as much as an experienced neurosurgeon.

      Moreover, the folks putting Marilyn Monroe in the same “Curvy” basket as some morbidly obese shoggoth are deluding themselves. If you’re one of those “all women are equally beautiful” zombies, let me break this down for you in girl speak: it’s like saying that a Louis Vuitton handbag and a Wal-mart canvas tote are equivalent in value.

      1. And if either of you were capable of basic reading comprehension, you’d know that I didn’t say all women are beautiful or that women of any body type should be able to date men of any body type. But since you aren’t, I’ll say it in smaller words. There are beautiful women in more than one cookie cutter mold. So this type or that type doesn’t do it for you, so what? She does for someone else. There are plenty of ugly men out there. There are even some real dicks that look like handsome men at first glance. Or in boy speak, some screws need a #3 Phillips driver and no amount of complaining about it is gonna make your ball-peen hammer fit.
        And honestly, I don’t give a flying fuck whether or not I fit your idea of beauty and neither do the vast majority of my readers because we’re all out of your league.
        Psst-Since your new here I’m just going to go ahead point out that I am happily married to a hot guy that owns his own business, so I really don’t need your advice on how to land an ‘alpha male.’ And more reading comprehension would point out that I’m a long way from chubby or ugly.

          1. Nope. And you don’t get to tell other men what they are allowed to find attractive. Real men don’t need a committee of boys to confirm/deny what they know.
            See, I get to determine what I find attractive, just because pathetic sniveling boys aren’t my type, doesn’t mean there isn’t some vapid trollop out there that will like you.

          2. @Prof. Quincy Adams Wagstaff, You know what I think?….. From your comments which are very rude, … I can determine that you have a small dick. Go home little boy.

        1. Let me clarify that last statement, Jennifer. I wasn’t saying that YOU were one of those aforementioned zombies. On the contrary, I believe you likely have a better grasp of the reality of the dating market than most people. That, and if you thought I had characterized you as some smarmy moonbat, I sincerely apologize. I could figure out from your blogroll (Iowahawk kicks ass) that this wasn’t the case, and figured you wouldn’t take personal offense. After re-reading my post, I believe I should probably have worded it to be clearer and more specific. I’m not here to rain on your parade (especially with that snappy KSG in your hand), but rather to add some perspective.

          I understand that there is always a bit of variation in what floats the average dude’s boat. However, it’s usually minor points like hair/eye color etc. The major points though, like age and weight, often make a huge impact on a man’s desire. There are always exceptions to the rule, but they are few and far between.

          Yes, beauty, as they say, is in the eye of the beholder. I would argue though, that all those beholders out there fall along a linear distribution with respect to how they rate major appearance characteristics.

          I find it sad that there are people out there (once again, not you, but a lot of college leftists) who take what is true on a localized level – that we all have different tastes – and try to warp it into a ridiculous universal construct – that everything is equally valid and no objective standard is possible. That mentality, is often the motivating factor and underlying ideology behind posters like the two “When did this…” images you included in your post.

          You, and your readers can take that comment and do what you will with it.

          Carry on, and I hope you and your lucky hubby have a great weekend.

        2. I am absolutely sure that both of the gentlemen in this sub-thread are MENSA studs with underwear-model looks and Eagle Scout morals who have been studying the martial arts (between weightlifting sessions, of course) since childhood. And can shoot a fly off a bull’s ass at six hundred yards, to boot.

          Oh, wait, I’m sure pretty much all of that is BS. Carry on.

        1. I regret that you have known only boys but someday, if you make yourself attractive enough, a man will take you and put you on the wall.

          Kid, shut up and get off my internet before I spank you.

          1. Now, Tam, whenever I meet one of these alpha males, I whip it out, piss on the ground around them, kick dirt back over it and snort. Then, I look them in the eye to challenge their dominance. They always look away.

            Imagine that.

        2. Wow troll spawn, you really have no clue who’s pot you just pissed in, Not only are all the ladies here most attractive but they could kick your ass 5 ways to sunday w/o even mussing their hair. Then they’ld high-five all the guys here (who would watch the entire episode w/ much mirth) before we all go to the range. THAT is beautiful.

          1. Never let it be said that chivalry is dead. Whilst the aforementioned ladies are engaged in the aforementioned ass-kicking, the guys who regularly read here will be off to one side, cheering appreciatively as they fire up the grill for some brats-n-BBQ, and happily had out adult-beverage-of-choice to the victors-with-unmussed-hair.

  4. Personally, I think a fashion designer could make millions by just making women’s pants with real pockets. I don’t know how you women carry anything, let alone a gun, in your pockets!

  5. Serenity is always commenting on how she hates her body/look…she thinks I don’t care when I tell her that I don’t care how she looks….which is true from one point of view, but untrue from another. I DON’T care how she looks (and she does NOT look fat at all. Period.). I’ve never been attracted to the super-twiggy supermodel type, even back in my Navy days when pretty much anything of the female persuasion was to be gawked at (try spending 45 days trapped in a steel-ish tube full of nothing but guys and various porn mags). Every guy has a favorite body type, whether we admit it or not, but I’ve always been more attracted to personality than to curves. I’ve known other guys’ girlfriends, stick-figure supermodel types (including one Playboy model. Seriously.) whom I wouldn’t want to be in the same room with due to the single-layer “worship me” personality. I’ve also been privileged to count some “plain” or “stocky” women as great friends, friends who accepted me for who I am, could hold an intelligent conversation, had an actual sense of humor (knowing and being able to quote Monty Python is a plus!), and weren’t afraid of getting mud on their shoes or under their fingernails while out hiking or working on a car or whatnot. Looks don’t hurt, I will admit, but looks change. Personality only grows (or flat-lines).

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