New Pigeon Toilet Proposed

Worshipers of soft, shiny fabric have proposed a new monument to be placed on the grounds of the Oklahoma State Capitol. Slick sheets are nice and all, but I can’t imagine worshiping them. To each their own, I suppose. I’m an Egyptian Cotton girl, myself.

And for the life of me, I can’t figure out why the embodiment of satin looks like this.


Oh! You meant Satan! As in Lucifer, the father of lies! And here I was wondering why you had a temple of not quite silk.

“The monument has been designed to reflect the views of Satanists in Oklahoma City and beyond,” temple spokesman Lucien Greaves said in a statement. “The statue will also have a functional purpose as a chair where people of all ages may sit on the lap of Satan for inspiration and contemplation.”-via NewsOK

And tacky selfies. You know it would happen.

I wonder if Lucien is just dyslexic.
















I bet he was really confused when his parents took him to the mall at Christmas time. He was all ready for the sulfur and damnation. Although, there is a lot of crying and gnashing of teeth around the fat man in the red suit, so I guess it wasn’t that far off.

 Similar requests for monuments have been made by a Hindu leader in Nevada, an animal rights group and the satirical Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. -NewsOK

Eventually, the Capitol grounds are just going to be littered with monuments. Our pigeons will be so confused. So much selection and variety. Why, they might even run out of time to patrol the car wash.

Personally, I think it’s ugly. If it gets approved (which I doubt), it’ll be a real eye-sore, but it’s not going to cause me any crisis of faith. At least they aren’t asking me to pay for it. As a Christian, I already know who wins that war. Seems silly to build a monument to the loser.

God didn’t call us to build monuments, He called us to feed His sheep. The Ten Commandments monument that is already there is neither sacred nor deserving of any special reverence. It’s a thing. His word is written on our hearts. Only you can let Satan in there.

9 thoughts on “New Pigeon Toilet Proposed”

  1. Those following Satan give pagans and heathens a bad name — Satan/Lucifer is found only among Judeo Christian teachings — you have to be fundamentally a Judeo-Christian to have found Satan.

    But, if Muslims can celebrate 9/11 with a Ground Zero mosque, why shouldn’t Satanists celebrate the center of America’s Bible Belt? (Forgive me. I just couldn’t find a better way to express that one.) One hopes the “inspiration” someone would get from the hot seat would *not* be of Biblical proportions. Adam and Eve were kicked out of the Garden of Eden — what if someone got us kicked off Earth, or even out of the US?
    Brad K.´s last blog post ..FBI — Law enforcement, or national security — are they confused?

  2. So does this mean we’re back to “religious tolerance”, and can post the 10 Commandments inside capitol buildings again?

    Oh, wait….”religious tolerance” only applies to non Judeo-Christian belief systems. I keep forgetting that part.

  3. The statue submitted is of Baphomet. Jonah Goldberg of NRO tweeted that:

    Satan statue debate to take interesting turn when people realize Baphomet is a vulgalarization of Muhammed

    Think of the pay-per-view possibilities. “Jihadi’s -v- Satanists” in a cage match on the Oklahoma Capitol Grounds. Y’all may be able to afford to cut your state taxes.

  4. I think it was Neil Boortz that used to say that when in an unfamiliar city, look for some really ugly and useless modern “art” and there will be a town hall, civic center or other public building.

    This one actually looks like something, so I doubt it qualifies as “modern” art.

    Bonus points for the firs to epoxy a toilet seat and lid on the lab of the proposed sculpture!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Warning: Illegal string offset 'subject' in /home/public/wp-content/plugins/spamlord/spamlord.php on line 86

CommentLuv badge

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.