So I got one of those messages from Amazon wondering if I might be interested in some of their wares based on previous searches. I’m sure you get them too.
Never before have they presented me with such a sound investment opportunity. I could save $12,000! Just think what you could do with that kind of savings.
That’s right. It’s an Omas Limited Edition Phoenix Plated Fountain Pen With Diamonds. You can take advantage of this fantastic opportunity as well by clicking on that link which just happens to be my affiliate link (which you are always welcome to use for all your shopping needs*). It’s like getting the 5th one for free!
No longer shall we toil with the pen we stole from the bank! For this, my friends, is the pen of the gods! But I must caution you. You should fill this fine instrument of writing with the blood of a recently slain dragon, ordinary ink would not do it justice and anger the gods of penmanship and prose. You can also substitute the blood of your enemies, but only if it is still warm.
One can’t help but wonder about the glorious stories that could be told. What weight those documents will bear. To look upon a margin doodle would cause grown men to weep. It’s magnificence cannot be overstated.
*Thank you to those of you that do just that. You are awesome. Especially you, person with the new microwave by Panasonic and all you voracious readers of text both digital and analog.