Men Don’t Rape

Rapists rape. Some rapists happen to be male and others happen to be female. Most of them understand that what they are doing is wrong. They’ve been told that they have no right to another person’s body and they don’t care. They are beyond education.

Treating men as if they are all rapists is disgusting and wrong. The vast majority of men don’t need to be taught not to rape because they aren’t rapists. And rapists can’t be taught.

Rapists can only be avoided, resisted, and punished. That is not blaming the victim. Doing otherwise is enabling the perpetrator.

You want to teach rapists not to rape? Great! Let’s start by promoting an environment where we respect each other as autonomous human beings with rights and privileges to our own bodies. Oh but you can’t stop there. Let’s talk about consent and how it’s not really consent where there is coercion. See? No victim blaming here. For the vast majority of people, we’re done. In a perfect world, that’s all we’d need.

You’re right, I should be able to take a nap in a dark alley while naked. It’s not fair that I can’t and it’s not my fault either. But that’s not the world we will in. We share our lives with a subset of monsters. Not the kind we imagine live under the bed, but those that look just like the rest of us. Why not go chat with Peter about rape culture? Hmm

So let’s continue our education of the rapists, shall we?

Now, let’s teach them that there are dire consequences for violating another human being. Consequences up to and including death to the perpetrator of such actions.

Court systems and law enforcement can only play a small role here. No, the consequences must happen as an immediate effect when warranted. In order to do that, people must be willing and able to protect their own body autonomy with force sufficient to overwhelm the attacker. The rapist has already failed to learn the lesson of respect for their fellow human beings so let’s appeal to a more primitive drive: fear.

I don’t want to live in fear of rapists. I want them to live in fear of a victim that will fight back and deliver swift justice for their crimes. I want them afraid for their very lives.

And here ends the lesson.

Michael Z Williamson has an excellent piece on the matter.

7 thoughts on “Men Don’t Rape”

  1. It seems kind of hard for a women to rape a man. They say it happens but really, she is 5’0 -5’6″ on average. It is the legal system that ushes that. Men yes, easy to rape a women but men why don’t you just ask her if you want something. That is my opinion on this , if your half way decent guy. she will give you. 🙂

    1. “It seems kind of hard for a women to rape a man.”

      Not when you throw things such as drugs into the mix. Force isn’t limited to muscle power and mass.

  2. Well said, and you’re right this is NOT Utopia, and never will be. I’ve always been a proponent of training women and girls in marksmanship, giving them the weapon to defend themselves with, and allowing them to carry anywhere/anytime. The quickest way to stop a rape is a .45 between the running lights before it can be started… Just my .02 cents…

  3. I post this on a blog saying “Yes, all men”. I’m not happy to tell you the same thing, but forewarned is forearmed.

    So, it’s “Yes, all men”, now is it?

    I, who spent my life in readiness to protect women and occasionally doing so, I am no different from the men who attack you? It’s because I didn’t tell them firmly enough prior to their attacks, right?

    I get nothing for anything I do, though, because I “don’t get a cookie” for just doing “what is expected.”

    Expected, by who? Just who is it that obligates me to risk my life protecting you?

    That person used to be … me! Being a free person in a free country, I am the one who decides what to obligate myself to.

    I owe you nothing, and with the condescending insult you make with your “Yes, all men”, I am not inclined to offer any woman the gift of my protection. I am certain that other men like myself are reacting the same way, because I hear them saying so. By the way, there are a lot more of us than there are of them. Not for much longer, though. You’re seeing to that.

    You can dress ( or undress ) any way you like. You can get as drunk as you like. You get to say “no” at any instant because that is your right. I will respect that. It’s easy, and takes little of my time.

    But, those thugs, that prey on such as you, the ones that used to have to worry that such men as I were around? Pretty quickly they are going to figure out that we’re gone. You work out with him why you ought not have to give him a piece of ass, because it is not our problem any more. Those thugs can be dangerous and I, certainly, am not going to mix it up with a guy like that for nothing.

    Party on, little girl.

    1. Little girl? You did notice that I am very specifically saying that men are not rapists, right? In fact, I said exactly the opposite of “Yes, all men”? And that I never claimed you owed anyone anything?
      Or is this a knee jerk response to what you assumed I wrote?

    2. The Rigorist has contacted me and clarified that the comment was one that a feminist blog would not publish. I retract my accusations of knee jerking and point out that this is exactly what ‘teaching men not to rape’ brings. It pushes men to the sidelines and away from the very characteristics that we wives cherish and hope our sons grow up to embody. This is why it makes me so very angry.

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