Amazon, It’s Getting Weird

First, you asked if my toilet paper met my expectations.

tp

Just how exactly am I supposed to answer that? Why yes, Amazon, now my bottom is delightfully poo free. Thanks for asking. 

Or maybe something like. I knew from the moment I opened the box that my days of drip drying were over.

I subscribe to this paper. Never missed an issue. Really, I just get it for the articles.

Oh well. I suppose since you sent me toilet paper, you’ve got to ask about it.

But that still doesn’t explain why you’ve now decided to redecorate my bathroom. You’ve got a rather…erm…interesting idea.

sloth

I’ve considered various themes for a bathroom. None of them included a Stripper Sloth Shower Curtain, but MAYBE THEY SHOULD. (Go ahead, click the link. You know you want one. Besides, it’s an affiliate link. Even if you don’t get the Stripper Sloth Shower Curtain, you’ll be helping keep quality content like this online.)

And what accessories does one need to complement a Stripper Sloth? I thought maybe the other customers that purchased this might have some ideas.

also bought

Well I don’t know about bathroom accessories, but if I drank a case of Surge, I’d be spending a lot of time contemplating my Stripper Sloth Shower curtain and being quite satisfied with my Cottonelle Clean Care Double Roll. And now the circle is complete.

13 thoughts on “Amazon, It’s Getting Weird”

  1. Umm, the tissue goes farther, and the clean is cleaner, if you follow the first swipe with a moist wipe. Charmin makes a decent product, I prefer the Walmart brand — it feeds one sheet better.

    Those with sensitive bottoms, or hemorrhoids, may appreciate the strength (more thorough cleaning) and comfort (no dry dragging paper over sensitive skin). Plus, with care, the moist wipe can be folded for another pass, twice.

    After all, “the job isn’t finished until the paperwork is done.”

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