An Open Letter to the Duggar Daughters

I’m so very sorry this happened to you. That your trust and physical autonomy was violated by someone so close to you. It should never have happened, and no matter what anyone tells you, it was not your fault. It is something that happened to you, and despite the harm done, it does not have to define you. The guilt is not yours to carry in any fashion.

It’s okay to be angry about it. The news says that your brother asked for and received your forgiveness, and I hope that is true. Really and fully true. I hope that he came to you with humility and remorse and that you granted him your forgiveness out of a desire to release yourself from the anger, and not to save the very public face of your family. Your forgiveness does not excuse his actions, but it does release you of the burden.

You are not broken. You likely carry scars and sometimes they will flare up. I’m sure having your story broadcast to the world has reopened your trauma. I’m sorry for that too. Mostly, I’m so very sorry that your brother inflicted that trauma in the first place.

It breaks my heart to see your parents rallying behind your abuser with nary a mention of you. I’m sorry that your parents turned your lives into such a circus and present their faith as a grotesque caricature of Christianity. You deserve the support and protection right now. Just as you deserved it back then.

Unfortunately, yes, bad things happen even in good Christian households. Families participate in denial and cover-ups. It’s not because they are Christian; it’s because they are human. People without sin have no need of salvation. I hope this has not shaken your faith. It was your brother, not God, that let you down.

I want you to know there are people out there praying for and supporting you. That you are not alone.

4 thoughts on “An Open Letter to the Duggar Daughters”

  1. Excellent. Well put. We are all broken to some degree. All have sinned but God and Christ. Being a follower of Christ is not about being perfect, it is about working to overcome our human nature with God’s help.

  2. Very well said Jennifer – I too was appalled by how the parents excused it with what appeared to be little thought for their girls. Forgiveness means moving forward but it does not mean it did not occur.

    Old NFO – FOIA will allow for them to be provided, however the names are redacted because one of the victims is still a minor. Yes, do the math, one of them was 5 years old or young when it occurred.

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