Say It Ain’t So, Joe. Swine Flu Paranoia

The Vice President is doing his part to cripple the economy.  The excuse?  Swine flu. Joe didn’t get the memo that you don’t actually get it from pork.  Nope, good ‘ol Joe’s advice is to stay away from planes, trains, and automobiles.  Don’t go to the mall.

I would tell members of my family — and I have — I wouldn’t go anywhere in confined places now..  It’s not that it’s going to Mexico. It’s [that] you’re in a confined aircraft. When one person sneezes, it goes all the way through the aircraft. That’s me. …

So, from my perspective, what it relates to is mitigation. If you’re out in the middle of a field when someone sneezes, that’s one thing. If you’re in a closed aircraft or closed container or closed car or closed classroom, it’s a different thing.

Geez.  And they accuse us of fear-mongering.  But at least it inspired a little ditty.

Don’t want to get the flu of swine,
Be cautious where you go to dine.
Could you get it in a car?
All depends how close you are.
Or how about when on a plane?
In a classroom or on a train?
All it takes is just one sneeze
To bring ol’ Joey to his knees
Each time they let him out of the box
He fears he could get poultry pox.
Wonder how he likes the taste of feet
Are they bitter?  Maybe sweet?
I, for one, would miss the laughs
If someone finally stopped the gaffs.
Far be it from me to make a suggestion,
But is a teleprompter out of the question?

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