Funniest line I’ve read in the news

I read a lot of internet news. Many stories come via The Daily Kitten—thank you Dee. I found this one all on my own though. One line made me seriously laugh out loud. Seriously, read this and tell me all about your mental picture.

About 150 police in riot gear went into the compound to find the ex-nuns defiantly singing religious songs and playing instruments, Puzewicz said.

Good thing the 150 police wore their riot gear! Can you imagine the possible consequences. Being smacked with a tambourine is sure to sting. Kum-by-WHAM my Lord, Kum-by-SMACK……We all know the havoc that would create in the little Polish town.

This line makes me laugh so hard I nearly peed myself. As if the riot gear part wasn’t enough, he says they were “defiantly singing religious songs and playing instruments” Oh man, that’s rebellious. That may have corrupted to locals that were sneaking them food. Shield your children!

And the scene ended this way.

Hours later, after mild resistance and insults from the ex-nuns and the intervention of psychologists, about 65 defeated ex-nuns, escorted by policewomen, walked out calmly in their black habits — some carrying guitars, others tambourines or small drums — and boarded buses.

I’m so glad this public threat was removed. They had guitars people! Don’t you understand the imminent danger? Better send in 2 riot geared cops for each nun and a few extra just to be safe.

Whew, I’m so glad my tax dollars go to pay for public health care for kids that are too good for public schools instead. (Thank you Michelle Malkin) Oops! I slipped something political in there. Just when you thought it was safe. Hey everyone! Chain smoke: it’s for the children!

Granddad

I want to give an update, but there really isn’t much to give. They were unable to get a blood pressure reading this morning. It will probably be today. I’ll go up there tonight.

It’s 3:25 pm. I just got the call. He’s gone

Beautiful Moment

May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
The sun shine warm upon your face
The rains fall soft upon your fields
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of His hand

Old Irish Blessing. I sang it, through tears, to Granddad last night. That’s where I stopped singing. He’d spent the day completely unresponsive, but shed a tear when I finished. The nurse said it was a special gift for me. I think she was right. Prior to that, I wanted to believe that he knew I was there, but I just wasn’t sure. I’m so glad I could give that gift to him.

I’m kind of just waiting for the call today. The call telling me that he has gone home. I think his spiritual body and his physical body are separating. That’s why the only reaction we got from him was the single tear. It was tearful but beautiful.

Someone brought a kitten for her grandmother to see. Cute little tuxedo guy. Nana snuggled him into her sweater where he purred. It was the most she’d smiled in a while.

It might be today

Mom called, it might be today. Of course, it might have been Friday, or a week ago at the hospital. Yesterday, the doctor said he would be surprised if Granddad lasted another 2 days. But of course it’s not an exact science. Granddad will go when he is good and ready. I won’t ever be ready, but I’m as close to ready as I am going to get. Today, he is not responding. Not to Nana or anyone else. They are just giving him regular infusions of pain meds and playing soft music.

I’m not dropping everything and running over there. I kind of want to, but I’ve done that so much lately. And there’s not really anything I could do. For now, I’m staying at work and have apparently forgotten how to eat a sandwich. I seem to have decided to eat it from both ends and work towards the middle. I took a picture, I’ll add it later. Sorry about the tangent, I just looked down at my lunch and realized I’ve suddenly become retarded. Laugh, it’s allowed. Healthy actually.

In my heart, I hope it’s today. I really hate to say that, but I’ve set up a pattern of being brutally honest here and don’t really plan to change it. I know that the only way for Granddad to stop suffering is to let the angels take him. He told Nana yesterday that he was going with them. Then the rest of us can really mourn his loss as we haven’t been able to do yet. And we can refocus and be able to celebrate his life. Can’t really do that right now, no clarity.

I’m going tonight. Even though he probably will not know that I am there. That just means he is closer to home.

UPDATE: You guys are really awesome. Extra cool points for all of you. We are picking up pizza and heading down to hospice shortly. With all of us together, may as well make it a party (of sorts). In case anyone is curious, this is the hospice group we are working with. We’ve dealt with them 3 times in as many years. You can visit their website at www.odsyhealth.com.

Granddad update

Hospice people are amazing. I sincerely hope and believe there is a special crown these people will receive in heaven. I am blown away by these people. I personally didn’t pursue a medical career because I didn’t think I had the emotional stamina to handle it if I were to lose a patient. These people lose them all. And they have the added responsibility of dealing with family members. They are there 24/7 for anything and everything that might be needed.
I got to meet a special one on Friday. Her name is Katie Ann and she’s a golden retriever. She’s a trained therapy dog. She loves everyone and will let everyone love on her. Kids can pull on her ears. People can squeeze her and cry on her and she just loves them back. If I see her again, I may try to get her picture.
We all thought Friday was Granddad’s last day with us. We’ve said our goodbyes and now we are just waiting for the inevitable. I really hope that he can go peacefully and quickly. I trust that if God continues to keep him here, that he has a good reason to do so, but I have to admit that this is hard.
My husband and I did get to have a very nice dinner with my 3 cousins and their spouses. We had never all gone out together before. We laughed at old stories and our twisted humor that it seems we’ve all inherited. I’m so glad to be rekindling relationships with them.
On Saturday, Granddad’s vitals had actually improved. He’s still arguing with angels. I hate seeing him suffer this way. I know that he will go home when it is time though and God’s time is not my time. It’s hard to be at peace with that. It’s even harder to see Nana struggle so much. She hasn’t left his side. She’s an amazing woman. I don’t envy her place right now. 57.5 years is a long time to be married. That kind of love is worth the pain.

Gift or Gremlin?

I got a surprise package in the mail on Saturday. It was a tube containing 4 posters. 2 copies of this one,

and 2 copies of a President Bush one. You can order them here. The surprise is that I didn’t order them. I thought about it, but didn’t. But they came anyway. $4.60 charged to someone else. I figure it has to be one of four scenarios.

  1. I have a secret admirer. If so, I assume that you are reading this. I know your name because it showed on the invoice, but I’m not going to reveal it. Thank you for the posters, I’m really flattered. I’m very much not available though. It was very thoughtful of you to send 2 copies because my best friend/husband enjoys them as well.
  2. I have a fan that sends gifts. Awesome! Really freaking awesome. Thank you, and you rock! I’ve never had a fan before and unless it is proven otherwise, this is the scenario I’m going to choose to believe and revel in the head swelling. I know your name, so no one else can take credit and therefore possession of the well deserved cool points you have earned.
  3. It’s a gag gift. If so, you think I’m a liberal and the joke’s on you. I don’t really think that is the case though
  4. There is a gremlin lurking in the servers at yaf.org. It is possible that Mr. Cool really just ordered them for himself and the ghost in the machine sent them to me instead. If so, and you just happen across my blog, I still think you are cool and would be happy to order these posters for you on my own bill so that you don’t miss out on the conservative goodness. That would still be acceptable, but I would rather believe that I have a fan.

So, anyone care to guess what the scoop is here? Are you the giver and want to come forward to receive your cool points? You can remain anonymously cool if you would like. I know your name, but the other people who read this won’t find out unless you come forward.

And yes, everyone who takes the time to read my blog is automatically considered cool. But there is a hierarchy. Readers are cool, those that comment are cooler, fellow bloggers that link back are awesome, and anyone that sends gifts is seriously amazing. Especially since any gift received is completely unsolicited. Welcome, but not solicited.

UPDATE: Well the people at YAF got back with me. Apparently their site got hacked. It was a gremlin. And I was really hoping for a fan.

They said what?!?!?!?!—-with update

So predictable that I would have to weigh in on this issue. I have to admit that I should be ashamed. I shouldn’t let drivel like Desperate Housewives anywhere near my radar and certainly not close enough to form an opinion.

Why am I annoyed? Here is why:

The officials cited a recent episode where actress Teri Hatcher, who plays Susan Mayer, asked whether the person attending to her during a medical consultation “can I check those diplomas because I want to make sure that they’re not from some med school in the Philippines.”

There are plenty obvious reasons why I should be annoyed. My paternal grandfather is from the Philippines after all. But I find the very existence of this show to be offensive, so why should I care whether or not they are sensitive to every little group. I was born here in the US and feel no special urge to add any label to myself beyond American. I am not part of the larger victim culture and refuse to associate myself in that way. The fact is, I really don’t care if they are insensitive. I wouldn’t have known about the comment had it not been covered here, here, and here. And that is not including the original reference in this post. I find it offensive that it took a racially charged slur to tick people off.

Desperate Housewives is just a symptom of a greater disease. The disease is serious moral decline. This show glamorizes adultery and pretends this is normal, perfectly acceptable behavior. Fine. The producers are just making what gets ratings. The real problem lies with the society that accepts it, watches it, and embraces it. Not that families even need to watch prime time television (heaven-forbid the almighty media get turned off in a household once in a while), but when you do turn it on you choose this as quality entertainment? This show is just one of many.

I’m not going to ask you to write letters to the producers or the FCC. I won’t direct you to some internet petition. I’m not asking you to take any action at all. I have enough faith in the people that read this that they are smart enough to just turn the television off.

UPDATE: Aren’t you relieved? They apologized. Right here. But not for the fact that I vomited in my mouth a little when it dawned on me that I had actually written about this so-called sitcom which is actually just porn in shiny packaging. If you want to watch smut, then do it. Just don’t try to convince me that it is anything else.

Check Mate!

My kid beat me at chess yesterday. First time ever. He was so excited, and I am so proud of him. He beat me fair and square. I did not let him win. It was a very clean check mate. I’m going to have to work harder to stay competitive with my 8 year old.

He had his first tournament on Saturday, September 29th. He didn’t win anything individually, but his team took first and second place. I’ve mentioned the Chess Club here before. These kids are really amazing. Provided my son can keep up with his schoolwork and behavior in class, his next tournament will be October 20th. He’s bound to just keep getting better. And I’ve already noticed a change in his level of motivation at school.

Feel free to visit IdaFreemanChess.com, shop in the store. It helps the team.