They stole it from us. The precious

Nope, not about Lord of the Rings in any way shape or form. Just me griping about unnatural time.

In March of this year, an hour was hijacked. That’s right. Stolen while we slept. No one even left a note. I would have paid the ransom. But no. They stole it from us with promises that it would be returned in November. They make it sound like my precious hour is going on an extended vacation. I’m sure in reality they are keeping it a little room with no sunlight and only bread and water for sustenance. Right now, it’s probably being subjected to daily water torture. Just wait until the pictures come out.

It’s a conspiracy I tell you! They are trying to control us. It’s much harder to think clearly when haven’t had enough sleep. And the extra snoozing just eats up the time when hubby could make espresso. Instead, I have to drink the G.A.A.C. (Generally Accepted As Coffee) at the office. This is why people bring guns to work! I know it’s true, here’s the biblical reference:

If you shout a pleasant greeting to your neighbor too early in the morning, it will be counted as a curse! Proverbs 27:14

Words to live by, don’t you think?

Judge of Character

I always chide myself for reading some gossip story about celebrities. That is, until I find a real gem like this piece. Scroll past the thing about Britney’s underwear (or lack thereof), there it is! I could really care less about Owen Wilson being on or off the wagon. This is the part that makes me giggle:

Won’t somebody please listen to Courtney Love?!….“Night in the Museum” co-stars are hanging together once again, despite Courtney’s warnings.

Ha! Ha! Ha! What kind of a person do you have to be for Courtney Love to call you a bad influence? This Steve guy must really be trouble. Hmm, who should one ask about staying clean and sober? Well Courtney’s certainly spent the time researching rehab and how not to do it, maybe she really is the expert.

Whiny lazy parents

I read this today and just got annoyed. If you don’t want to follow the link, it’s a story about parents fears, sex offenders, and trick-or-treating. Here’s an excerpt

“Obviously, there’s something not right in those people’s minds. Anyway, so there’s no telling what they would want to give to a child or even what they’re thinking about when your child goes up to the front door,” said Jasan Hazzard.

I agree, sex offenders are scary. But have you ever thought about, I know it’s crazy, but going out with your kids? I know, active parenting. It’s a lot to ask. I could be wrong, but I am betting that if you are standing two steps behind your child the scary guy isn’t going to yank your precious goblin into his home. And if he tried, you could do something about it

You know, when I was a kid, my dad went with me into the neighborhood. It was great. He carried extra bags in his coat and he would carry the overfilled bags for me. I wasn’t allowed to eat any of the candy until after I got home and it had been throughly checked by my parents. We walked through the entire neighborhood so there were plenty of calories burned. Same rules apply with my son. We make an event out of it. Hubby and I get dressed up to take the kiddo out for the annual sugar fest. We have fun and we get to spend time together as a family.

But our family has become the minority. Once we have finished our rounds and returned home, we flip on the porch light and welcome the miniature ninjas, witches, and princesses. Our candy solicitors fall mostly into 2 groups:
1. Chubby kids waddling from mom’s still running SUV. These kids might become terribly out of breath if forced to actually walk down a whole street. I almost feel guilty giving them such calorie laden treats. That is until I see the porky chocolate stained fingers of the parental chauffeur. I can only hope their poor overworked heart prevents future procreation. At least rescue crews can properly train with these.
2. Kids I have never seen before in the 8 previous Halloweens that I have passed out candy from the same location. A quick glance to the street reveals no parents to be seen. I often wonder how long it would take before they would be missed. I shouldn’t, but I always worry about these kids and often watch them heading on down the street until they are out of range. I’m sure I have already invested plenty of my hard earned money in raising them via state programs, is it really so much more to spend an ounce of concern on them?

Attention parents, here’s a novel idea. Try parenting. The responsibility is yours, not the state’s, not the policeman’s, and certainly not your neighbor’s. You can look up the addresses of sex offenders in your area, don’t send your kid knocking on that door. But that does require you to actually be involved in your kids activities so it’s probably asking too much.

Funniest line I’ve read in the news

I read a lot of internet news. Many stories come via The Daily Kitten—thank you Dee. I found this one all on my own though. One line made me seriously laugh out loud. Seriously, read this and tell me all about your mental picture.

About 150 police in riot gear went into the compound to find the ex-nuns defiantly singing religious songs and playing instruments, Puzewicz said.

Good thing the 150 police wore their riot gear! Can you imagine the possible consequences. Being smacked with a tambourine is sure to sting. Kum-by-WHAM my Lord, Kum-by-SMACK……We all know the havoc that would create in the little Polish town.

This line makes me laugh so hard I nearly peed myself. As if the riot gear part wasn’t enough, he says they were “defiantly singing religious songs and playing instruments” Oh man, that’s rebellious. That may have corrupted to locals that were sneaking them food. Shield your children!

And the scene ended this way.

Hours later, after mild resistance and insults from the ex-nuns and the intervention of psychologists, about 65 defeated ex-nuns, escorted by policewomen, walked out calmly in their black habits — some carrying guitars, others tambourines or small drums — and boarded buses.

I’m so glad this public threat was removed. They had guitars people! Don’t you understand the imminent danger? Better send in 2 riot geared cops for each nun and a few extra just to be safe.

Whew, I’m so glad my tax dollars go to pay for public health care for kids that are too good for public schools instead. (Thank you Michelle Malkin) Oops! I slipped something political in there. Just when you thought it was safe. Hey everyone! Chain smoke: it’s for the children!

They said what?!?!?!?!—-with update

So predictable that I would have to weigh in on this issue. I have to admit that I should be ashamed. I shouldn’t let drivel like Desperate Housewives anywhere near my radar and certainly not close enough to form an opinion.

Why am I annoyed? Here is why:

The officials cited a recent episode where actress Teri Hatcher, who plays Susan Mayer, asked whether the person attending to her during a medical consultation “can I check those diplomas because I want to make sure that they’re not from some med school in the Philippines.”

There are plenty obvious reasons why I should be annoyed. My paternal grandfather is from the Philippines after all. But I find the very existence of this show to be offensive, so why should I care whether or not they are sensitive to every little group. I was born here in the US and feel no special urge to add any label to myself beyond American. I am not part of the larger victim culture and refuse to associate myself in that way. The fact is, I really don’t care if they are insensitive. I wouldn’t have known about the comment had it not been covered here, here, and here. And that is not including the original reference in this post. I find it offensive that it took a racially charged slur to tick people off.

Desperate Housewives is just a symptom of a greater disease. The disease is serious moral decline. This show glamorizes adultery and pretends this is normal, perfectly acceptable behavior. Fine. The producers are just making what gets ratings. The real problem lies with the society that accepts it, watches it, and embraces it. Not that families even need to watch prime time television (heaven-forbid the almighty media get turned off in a household once in a while), but when you do turn it on you choose this as quality entertainment? This show is just one of many.

I’m not going to ask you to write letters to the producers or the FCC. I won’t direct you to some internet petition. I’m not asking you to take any action at all. I have enough faith in the people that read this that they are smart enough to just turn the television off.

UPDATE: Aren’t you relieved? They apologized. Right here. But not for the fact that I vomited in my mouth a little when it dawned on me that I had actually written about this so-called sitcom which is actually just porn in shiny packaging. If you want to watch smut, then do it. Just don’t try to convince me that it is anything else.


I’m in a decidedly sour mood today. There are biological reasons for this which I will not go into on the internet. Yes, I have standards of decency. Some things just should not be blogged about. Rather, I am going to apply my acerbic sentiments to stuff I read in the news.

Doctors may not start widely prescribing exercise as a depression treatment just yet. But for patients who are motivated to try exercise, it could be a reasonable option, the study authors say. Ref

Let’s get this straight. Studies are showing that there is a chemical free way to treat depression, but doctors would rather give patients a pill. Figures. Exercise is likely the magic solution to many problems plaguing the world and the US in particular, but it’s exceedingly difficult to profit monetarily from it. Sure there are health club memberships and equipment to sell, but that doesn’t create the returns that drugs and side effects do. I’m pretty sure the net worth of Merck is far higher than Gold’s gym. And yet you can treat obesity, depression, heart disease, and the dreaded muffin top syndrome without needles and chemicals by putting in some time at the gym.

And we move on to People magazine:

Alternative-rock icon Eddie Vedder spearheaded a ’90s Seattle musical sound around adolescent angst. Ref

Spearheaded? You’ve got to be kidding me. If by ‘spearheaded’, they mean ‘sanitized for the masses’ then I could buy that. Yes, Pearl Jam has sold a lot of albums. I suppose the voice coaching with the Swedish Chef really paid off for Mr. Vedder. But the alternative-rock icon that should be credited with spearheading the Seattle sound should be Kurt Cobain. Every generation has it’s music, 90’s rock just so happens to be the music of mine. Pearl Jam produced alternative rock for the mainstream, which is arguably the antithesis of everything alternative music was about. But at least he thinks he is a good father. We can all rest easy. Maybe he will stuff his mouth with cotton and produce another gem for us all.

Dissenting views are welcome. But as I have yet to receive any, I will continue to assume that I am right and everyone agrees with me.


I don’t watch TV. I know, weird right? I missed Brittney’s *ahem* comeback performance. Yeah, I’ve seen it online. It was bad. Seriously though, she was never good in the first place. She was just a gyrating mass of over-exposed flesh. Honestly, I’ve read enough about the supreme awfulness of it and the pathetic people defending her. That’s the thing with Hollywood annoyances, they aren’t real and if you ignore them, they really will go away. Hollywood types survive on attention alone. It doesn’t matter if you are hurling vile insults at them with your acid tipped comments. How many times have you ever heard about an attention starved media icon? You don’t. It’s bad for ratings. They don’t care whether or not you like it, they just want you to watch. The train wreck factor applies in the the entertainment industry.
I do watch movies though. And I love a good anime. We’re up to 3 shelves of anime DVD’s. I have warned you that I am a nerd right? When the IRS paid back the interest free loan we gave them last year, we took the money and bought a high definition projector. It’s so cool. And there is just something seriously awesome about seeing the images of giant robots 3 feet tall. Ichigo’s sword really is freaking huge on a 91 inch screen painted on the wall. And the best part about it is, I never have to see an anime heroine 20 pounds over-weight prancing around in bikini that is 2 sizes too small. They would never draw her that way. It’s just not hot.

Could I just get a pill for that?

I’ve decided that being a wife, mother, full-time employee, and starting my own business is just too hard. It’s outside the norm. It’s challenging and stressful. Rather than rise above it and strive to succeed, I’m going to do what the rest of the world does and look for the answer in pill form. There are so many to choose from. I’m sure there is something for me. Or maybe I can just find a sympathetic doctor that will prescribe me some cocktail that will make the world shiny and happy. I”ll wash it all down with a cocktail of a different kind. Mmm blissful normalcy.

Do I have any complaints that someone hasn’t made a pill for? Hmm, lets explore that. I’m a high energy person that can’t stay in my preordained box. Bingo-there’s Ritalin for that. There’s one down. Sometimes I just can’t find the motivation to get out of bed in the morning. Well there is a wide range of anti-depressants to choose from that will help with that. Too passionate? Probably manic; there’s another medication for that. I often have trouble going to sleep, but there’s Valuim (among others) out there for that. I just don’t see the world the way other people do. Can you give me a conformist pill?

And don’t forget my family. Children learn in elementary school that pills solve problems. Kid is disruptive? Must be ADHD. Husband is high energy and aggressively ambitious. Well look, there’s a family history of ADHD! We’re going to need pills for the side effects of all the pills too.

No wonder we live in a modest house with original art on the walls done by people that live inside. It isn’t normal for a couple that got married when they were barely 20 to still be madly in love nearly 9 years later. A house full of projects in various stages of completion? Well that doesn’t fit the standard.

Can I get a pill to put me way over me head in debt? Will it make me support sweatshops by shopping at Wal-Mart? How about getting me hooked on reality shows and following the antics of Britney Spears? Will it make me gain weight? Being my size certainly doesn’t fit with the norm. Why not just make me believe everything I hear on the news too? Then I will be able to make an informed decision in the next election.

Since we can’t medicate the masses to make them extraordinary, lets medicate the extraordinary to even the playing field. Sign me up! There’s far less responsibility in being a follower.