Keeping People in Context

There are certain people that we all have in our lives that belong in a certain setting.  We fail to recognize them as actual people with lives outside of this particular environment.  Seeing them outside of their standard roles can shake us up a bit.  We recognize them as familiar, but can’t place them without the appropriate context.

Case in point:

A while back, my husband and I started attending a church which we finally joined.  After doing the whole church hunting bit, we had finally found one that we really liked.  (Church hunting sucks.  It’s like going on blind dates with 150 new people every weekend.)  So we started attending regularly and getting to know the congregation.

Week after week I saw this woman who just struck me as someone I knew elsewhere.  I tried to place her to no avail.  I tried to write it off.  I had been a bank teller at a bank in the area for a year so lots of people were familiar from there, but again I was unsuccessful.  I was certain that I actually knew this woman.  That I had some regular business with her.  I snooped around to try and find out her name hoping that would jog my memory.  No dice.  I was unsuccessful in discovering her name through basic detective work.

I finally decided to bite the bullet and ask her name directly.  Which she ever so sweetly told me.

The shock realization embarrassment utter-mortification hit me like 3 tons of bricks.  Rather than introduce myself, I immediately jumped onto to table to lie on my back.  I put my knees in the air to peer at her from the far more familiar vantage point.  Ah yes, this woman is acquainted with my vagina.  I kid you not, I go to church with my gynecologist.

Ok, so I didn’t really jump on the table, but I felt like turning myself inside out.  Which, I suppose, would have triggered her memory about how she knows me.

I’m going to see her today.  We’ve both made the connection at this point.  When I leave the office, she will say, “See you Sunday.”  Thankfully, she sees less of me then.

Of Naughty Nurses and Propriety

As we do nearly every weekend, hubby and I went to the gun range. We believe it is important to practice regularly even with the soaring ammo prices.

This trip was our usual routine. You know, pick the brains of sales guys/instructors, drool over all the choices on the sales floor, kid the range counter guys, and finally head into our lanes.

I’m getting to the naughty nurse thing-just be patient.

After putting lots of holes in paper, we head over to the cafe for some ice water. Much needed since apparently the range itself is not air conditioned. Who knew I could multi-task target practice and sauna time?

And then, we spotted her. I am not kidding or exaggerating, she was dressed much like a naughty nurse. White, high-heeled sandals paired with a nearly opaque very short white dress with a wide white belt. She had her very long blond hair (probably extensions) pulled up in a ponytail that hung down to her waist. The entire look would have been quite appropriate for an employee of the establishment just down the street. I know, you’re following the link. Here’s another one to give you a better idea of the look she was sporting. Yeah, she was sporting that look at our local, very family friendly gun range. I did catch a glimpse of her face, and she wasn’t an especially pretty girl. She had a great figure, and dressed like she was, I was probably the only one to notice her face.

I have absolutely no problem with women dressing in a sexy manner. But there is a difference in the kind of sexy that is appropriate for general public and the kind that is appropriate in the bedroom. This girl was on the wrong side of that line.

Generally speaking, women like attention. We like attention from the opposite sex. We want to feel desirable and attractive. Healthy, balanced women do not want to be seen as objects. Those venturing into public dressed an naughty nurses, however, portray themselves as objects. This girl is either extremely naive, or she is an extreme example of women using sex for power.

There are many naive women. For some reason they have a disconnect between looking sexy and what reaction that causes. These are the 14 year old girls running around with the word ‘juicy’ plastered across their butts. Sure every person has a right to dress however they like, wherever they want, but having the right to do something and it being a good idea to do something are two very different things. I have every right to put on a French maid outfit and trot out to the corner of 10th and MLK, and it would not give some low-life predator the right to pull me into his car and drive me to parts unknown, but it certainly wouldn’t be the brightest idea I had ever had. It is true that victims are not at fault for a crime, but it is responsible to avoid turning yourself into a target. Our society is over-sexualized and desensitized to these types of issues. Right now, I could probably walk into the mall and see more skin than I would have 10 years ago on late night cable.

And then we have the women using sex for power. They are a sad case indeed. Sure walking into the gun range dressed as a naughty nurse got attention. This girl was absolutely wielding a certain power over the men and women present. She could interrupt a conversation by just passing in the vicinity. But I do not believe a single person had an ounce of respect for her. And that is a major feat in a place like the local gun range. Gun owners generally hold a level of respect for each other and those curious about gun ownership. Tarting yourself up like a naughty nurse transcends normal human interactions. The kind of woman that does this is a damaged woman. No, not in the ‘damaged goods’ way, but it will make a woman see herself in that way. These are the women that for whatever reason do not understand that they have value. They don’t see that they are worth more than the sum of their body parts. They wield the indisputable power of sex as a poor substitute for the real power held by beautiful, respectable ladies. That road is a dead-end. It leads to fear and self-loathing and is a spiral that is very difficult to reverse. Not impossible, but you will not escape without scars.

Unfortunately, the naive woman is not immune to the damages. The women using sex as power generally started out naive. Little girls should be taught that beauty is not determined by how many people look at you. It is long past time to stop tarting them up. And as Cassy Fiano so eloquently points out, it’s not “fun” or “flirty” when older women do it.

I am pointing the proverbial finger directly at the feminists touting that using your body as an amusement park is the fast lane to liberation. They have slashed at the very core of what makes us women. They have lied and told us that there are no repercussions for behaving as heathens. STDs? Use a condom. Pregnancy? No worries, you can just kill the baby. There is no need to actually take responsibility for any of the choices that you make. And that nagging, heart-breaking sinking feeling? That’s a lie fed to you by the misogynistic culture we live in. They ignore the fact that we as women were designed to become attached to our sexual partners. In fact, we become so attached that separation from one damages us psychologically. Separation from 10 makes us down-right jaded. They ignore that we were designed to love our offspring from the moment of conception. It is ingrained in our most basic instincts to protect our children from long before the moment they draw their first breath.

I’m not saying that this is the picture of the empowered woman, but it certainly isn’t this.

Ladies! Tan Your Tits! Burn your Boobs!

Let’s see what that does to my Google standing…

Seriously though, studies are showing that the much demonized sun is actually very good for us. Turns out, we need Vitamin D for lots of stuff way beyond the prevention of rickets. True, there are many supplements available, but with the supplements comes a risk of overdose. You cannot overdose of Vitamin D from sunlight however. Our skin is so well designed that it will only produce as much Vitamin D as our bodies need. Pretty nifty huh? Hard to believe we just evolved that way. (Yeah, I’m thinking not)

And guess what German researchers are saying?

Women with less vitamin D in their blood are more likely to get breast cancer

Hence my snicker-worthy post title.

My own mother is technically a breast cancer survivor. That sounds tons bigger than it really is. They caught her tumor so early that the doctor called it stage zero cancer. He took it out and nuked the area for good measure. (The procedure is called mammosite and is far more sophisticated than nuking.) She will find out for certain that she is cancer free sometime next week. Her great big scary cancer battle lasted a whole tremor inducing month. I think it’s pretty freaking cool than they can detect such a thing so early.

I’m really amazed that they have come so far and yet still have so much to learn. We’ve heard for so long that spending time in the sun is going to doom us all to skin cancer. But there really is such thing as a healthy tan. I’m not advocating the leather making sun-worshiping of the 70s, but blue-white skin isn’t healthy either.

So, don’t be afraid to get a little sun. You don’t even have to do it topless. The Vitamin D produced in you arms will reach your tatas.